Every so often—perhaps every hour on the hour—the demands of parenthood can feel overwhelming, and I find myself reminiscing about the days before kids when I had a firmer physique and a lot more free time. While it’s not a topic we often discuss in parenting circles, it’s a reality many of us share. I adore my children as much as I cherish air, but I also miss the liberty that came with being child-free. Yes, I had responsibilities, but they were far less complicated than trying to incorporate tiny humans into every aspect of my life. Becoming a mom means missing out on both the obvious things—like uninterrupted sleep and a stretch-mark-free belly—and the more nuanced joys of a pre-baby existence. Here are eight things I miss about my life before kids:
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Carefree Spending
Ah, the nostalgia of splurging $150 on makeup and fun accessories without a second thought. The worst that could happen was asking a friend to cover my drinks on a night out. Unless you’ve hit the jackpot financially (in which case, can we come over?), having children dramatically alters your budget. What was once discretionary spending has now turned into “we need this for necessities” funds. Enjoy your current wardrobe because a new one won’t be in the cards until your youngest is well into adulthood. -
No Goldfish Crumbs
Once upon a time, my home, car, and diaper bag were free of those ubiquitous orange snacks. I remember a time when my living space was blissfully crumb-free. Now, it’s a different story; Goldfish crumbs seem to appear everywhere, and I sometimes find myself stress-eating them during the afternoon slump. -
Late-Night Adventures
Late-night binge-watching was the norm back then. Now, weekends come with an early bedtime and an even earlier wakeup call. Staying up until midnight to catch the latest episode may seem appealing, but you’ll pay for it the next day when a tiny human jumps on you at dawn, ready for a snack. -
The Absence of Diaper Drama
There was a time when I didn’t have to witness someone else’s bodily functions firsthand. Now, changing diapers can feel like a spectator sport, especially when you have to wait for the inevitable to finish. Coaching a constipated child through their struggle is not what I envisioned for my life. -
Consistent Libido
Once, I was always in the mood for intimacy. Now, the allure of sleep often outweighs any romantic inclinations. I never thought I’d reach a point where ZZZ would sound more appealing than XXX, but here we are. A gentle reminder: please don’t touch me because the kids will be up any moment. -
No More Wardrobe Woes
Before kids, I wore whatever I wanted without concern. Now, I put on a pair of fitted yoga pants only to discover they seem to be sucked into my body. What happened? Why didn’t anyone mention this in the parenting books? -
The Mystery of Caillou
What is Caillou? I’m still pretending I don’t know just to annoy my child. -
My Once-Perky Figure
Goodbye, youthful backside. It’s baffling how my rear can be both larger and flatter at the same time. Sure, I stay active, but that doesn’t prevent my derriere from resembling a pancake. Perhaps my wardrobe has absorbed my backside, and it’s now lounging in my uterus with a drink in hand.
In conclusion, while motherhood is a rewarding journey filled with love and joy, I can’t help but reminisce about the carefree days of my pre-baby life. For those exploring the path to motherhood, consider resources such as Make a Mom for insights into home insemination, or check out WebMD for excellent information on pregnancy and insemination options. Also, read about a couple’s successful journey after two years of trying on Intracervical Insemination.