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No matter where you sit, someone will inevitably choose to settle behind you, using your chair as a footrest or jostling it throughout the film. You might assume it’s a child with a clueless parent, which leads to a variety of tactics on your part to deter the footsie game—from shifting in your seat to casting side-eye glares that barely reach their intended target.
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As the previews roll, any mention of the word ‘butt’—and trust me, it will happen—will trigger a chorus of giggles from the kids, followed by loud proclamations like “HE SAID BUTT!” Amidst the parental shushing, you will struggle to catch the next line of dialogue.
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If you had the foresight to prepare before the movie, you’ve likely stuffed your compact bag with an assortment of hidden snacks. Trail mix, cookies, string cheese—you name it. Forget about purchasing overpriced treats at the concession stand; this time, you’re sneaking in your own goodies.
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The longer you search for a seat away from noisy eaters, the greater the chance someone will stroll in at the last minute with crinkling candy wrappers and a bucket of popcorn, disrupting your peaceful experience.
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During 3D films, expect at least one child to reach out for the imaginary objects flying across the screen. In fact, most kids will join in on this entertaining but chaotic endeavor.
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If you’ve successfully ushered your kids to the restroom before the feature begins, you’ll still find yourself surrounded by a row of children who seemingly haven’t used the bathroom in days. A word to the wise: wear closed-toed shoes.
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Your child will demand an ICEE, and after a few enthusiastic sips, they will produce only air bubbles for the remainder of the movie, all while you engage in futile attempts to shush them—parenting is a full-time job, after all.
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The younger the child, the more relentless their questioning will be throughout the film. You’ll nod along just to quiet them, having no idea what they’re actually asking.
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Regardless of the movie’s quality, your child will insist it was THE BEST MOVIE EVER and will chatter about it incessantly for the rest of the evening.
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Prepare for a pop quiz on your favorite and least favorite movie moments, so take good notes mentally or risk being caught off guard during the post-movie recap.
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In summary, taking kids to the movies is an adventure filled with unforeseen challenges, from noisy neighbors to unexpected snack demands. However, these moments often lead to cherished memories, making the experience worthwhile.