Any parent with a high school senior understands the challenges posed by the college admissions process. It often feels like the ultimate test of parenting, putting a strain on the relationship that has developed over the past 18 years. It disrupts what you thought was a solid bond, leaving you to wonder if things will ever feel normal again. To make matters more complicated, the reality of impending distance—both physical and emotional—looms on the horizon.
One day during the fall of my daughter’s senior year, instead of bringing up college essays or applications, I decided to shift gears and discuss something more enjoyable—the summer between high school and college.
“Chloe, have you thought about what you want to do this summer?”
She paused, her expression shifting to a familiar teenage attitude. “I don’t know yet, but everyone says the summer before college is supposed to be the best summer of my life.”
That caught me off guard. “The best summer of her life”—what did that entail? Was she planning to sleep in, hang out with friends, and avoid family time as much as possible?
I reminisced about my own summer before college, where I worked as a day camp counselor, driving a van full of noisy kids. It was enjoyable, mainly due to a few charming male counselors, but not particularly thrilling. After work, I spent time with friends at the beach, hardly prioritizing moments with my parents, convinced they would always be around while my friends and I were about to part ways.
“The best summer of my life”—where did she get this notion? Rather than dismiss her, I let the conversation fade.
Later, after the stress of college applications subsided a bit, she raised the topic again. Inspired by a story about a mother-daughter duo traveling together, she suggested we embark on a similar adventure. Wow, I never imagined she’d take the initiative to spend quality time with me; I was typically the one asking for it! But was this contrary to all the parenting advice I had absorbed—encouraging independence and space? I didn’t care; she was preparing to leave, and I wanted to seize every moment she offered.
Then came her requests. She wanted to take the reins on planning our trip—choosing destinations, activities, and restaurants—while I handled the tedious logistics like flights and accommodations. I agreed to her terms.
Spain became our destination of choice. Chloe meticulously researched attractions, planned our itinerary, and even scouted out local culinary delights. As I don’t speak Spanish, I had to rely on her as my translator. For the first time, she took the lead, while I found myself in a more dependent role.
During our travels, we read books like Glitter and Glue and The Joy Luck Club, which perfectly complemented our journey. Each evening, we relaxed and discussed various mother-daughter dynamics and how ours compared.
It was a true gift to witness Chloe’s transition from a teenager to a budding adult, confidently navigating new cities and ready to take on the world. She still had her moments of uncertainty—like misplacing her passport—but that allowed me to step in as the responsible one occasionally.
One of the highlights of the trip was an evening spent dining at an outdoor café. Chloe asked about my college experiences and sought advice for maximizing hers. We chatted about balancing fun and responsibility, the importance of hard work without obsession over grades, and how to engage in activities without overcommitting. We also touched on setting both short- and long-term life goals and the value of taking risks to explore new opportunities. That night, we stayed up late reminiscing over childhood photos.
When we returned home, the weeks flew by until the day came for her to move into her dorm. Standing together in her new space, we hugged tightly, saying goodbye. Summer had come to an end, but she was ready to embrace this new chapter. Before leaving, I made sure to pin a photo of us from Barcelona on her wall, capturing a moment from our special summer.
You don’t have to travel to Europe to create meaningful connections with your child; even a simple weekend camping trip or a local outing can be just as impactful. It’s essential to carve out quality time during the summer before college. Don’t let those moments slip away.
For now, Chloe considers our summer adventure the best of her life, though I know she’s only beginning to craft her path. For me, it ranks high on my list of favorite summers, allowing me to create lasting memories and strengthen our bond, making our eventual separation a bit easier.
Summary:
In this reflective piece, Emily Johnson shares the transformative summer she spent with her daughter, Chloe, before she headed off to college. As they navigated their trip to Spain, they forged a deeper connection, allowing Chloe to take the lead in planning their adventure. Through shared experiences, meaningful conversations, and cherished memories, they strengthened their relationship during a pivotal moment in their lives. This touching narrative emphasizes the importance of quality time between parents and children as they approach life changes.