Updated: July 23, 2017
Originally Published: March 13, 2013
As mothers, we carry invisible emblems that adorn our chests. These marks go unrecognized, uncelebrated, and lack any formal acknowledgment. Yet, we are acutely aware of their presence; our mothers, sisters, and closest friends understand them too. Some mothers boast just a handful of these significant emblems, while others are adorned with many, each overlapping and competing for space, all of which are earned through perseverance and sacrifice.
Certain emblems are bestowed with the sight of two pink lines—those lines longed for and fought for fervently. Others come from the meals we forgo, feeling sick and swollen, tears streaming over bowls of cereal. Some are earned through moments of panic, marked by a small spot of blood. Others arrive with the stretching of skin, the loosening of ligaments, and the feeling of breath being restricted in our lungs.
Some emblems are awarded after navigating mountains of paperwork, laden with hope, sometimes even requiring travel to distant lands. The moment you first gaze into the eyes of that fragile being—that is when you feel another emblem pinned to your heart. Others are earned through birth plans that didn’t unfold as envisioned, or through the painful process of surgery; bodies sliced open and then sewn back together.
Physical reminders linger—shiny marks like fish gliding across the ocean of your belly, hemorrhoids that feel colossal, and let’s not even mention the changes to your breasts. Some emblems are earned in the trenches of exhaustion, as you navigate the echoes of cries and the sweet scent of milky skin, tears mysteriously rolling down your cheeks.
There are nights, perhaps years later, when you find yourself on the couch beside your little one, propping them up for comfort, anxiously feeling their feverish skin against your arm. In those quiet, dark moments, another emblem is bestowed upon you.
Each time you choose patience—explaining why clothing is essential, or why biting hurts, or why candy is not a remedy—is another emblem earned. The moment panic strikes when you can’t see them, and the relief washes over you when you finally find them, adds another layer to your collection.
Emblems are earned through their first heartbreaks, failures, and moments of self-doubt. They are pinned to you as you wipe down the table, sweep up Cheerios, fold laundry, pour milk, or simply endure the mundane repetition of daily tasks. The harder-earned emblems arrive with eye-rolls, whining, and the challenges of growing up. Some come when they don’t return home, others when they lie to you, or when they push you away with all their might.
And then, there’s the one that shines more brightly than the rest, earned through the passage of time, with gray hairs and a heart that feels a bit battered. This emblem is awarded when they venture out into the world on their own, hopefully to earn their own badges.
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In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with invisible emblems that reflect the struggles and triumphs experienced along the way. Each badge represents a moment, a sacrifice, and a lesson learned, culminating in a profound transformation that shapes both mother and child.