When you’re a new parent, carving out time (and energy) for intimacy with your partner can be quite the obstacle. You’re likely overwhelmed with the demands of postnatal life. But fear not! Here’s a unique approach to rekindling that spark after welcoming your little one.
- Agree with your partner to have an “early” night in.
- Search through your lingerie drawer for something other than pajamas. Your options might include: oversized t-shirts, comfy underwear, two old maternity bras, a few used breast pads, or a stray thong that somehow survived the Great Thong Purge of 2010.
- Contemplate whether you should tidy up your underwear drawer before the romantic escapade.
- Deciding against it, you acknowledge that your baby could wake up at any moment.
- Climb into bed, ready for some action, only to realize you’re so exhausted that an actual early night would be ideal.
- Push all romantic plans to the next day.
The next evening rolls around, and you both agree to prioritize romance. After settling in bed, your partner thinks they hear the baby. You both pause and listen. Silence. You resume your romantic efforts, but soon after, you think you hear the baby. Again, you listen, but nothing. Just as you get back into the groove, the baby wakes up.
You both rush to feed them and return to bed, but your partner is already asleep. Determined to have some intimacy, you vow to try again the following evening. However, after another sleepless night with the baby, it seems that time is not on your side.
Days pass, and finally, you agree to be adventurous. Suggest moving to the sofa for a change of scenery, hoping to avoid falling asleep. As you begin, you realize that “Thomas the Tank Engine” is watching your every move. You hastily turn him to face the wall. Just when you think you can continue, you accidentally sit on a plastic “Fireman Sam.” Your partner promptly tosses it into the toy box.
Resisting the urge to organize the toys correctly, you attempt to refocus on intimacy. Yet, the thought of “Fireman Sam” keeps creeping into your mind. You remind yourself to think sexy thoughts instead. “Are you thinking about Fireman Sam?” your partner teases. “No,” you lie, “I’m all about you, my love.”
Eventually, you find yourself standing up to return “Fireman Sam” to the right box. While you’re at it, you spot a stray block and another piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Before you know it, you’re digging through the jigsaw cupboard, searching for the matching piece. A cough from your partner brings you back to reality.
As you try to resume romance, your partner leans in to whisper something in your ear—potentially sweet nothings. Instead, they comment, “Doesn’t this couch smell a bit off?” Both of you agree to postpone the romantic activities in favor of watching some TV.
Three days later, the grandparents take the kids out for a few hours, and you seize the opportunity to indulge in some quality time together. You both head to the bedroom, but you mention that transitioning from “wiping a toddler’s bum to feeling frisky” isn’t so easy. You propose starting with lunch and a nice chat.
Compromising, you settle for coffee and cake in bed. As you scroll through baby pictures on your phones, you suddenly realize that time is slipping away. With just ten minutes before the baby returns, romance is once again delayed.
Finally, two weeks later, you decide that a night away is essential for rekindling intimacy. Leaving the baby with grandparents, you check into a fancy hotel, indulging in food, drinks, and laughter. The night culminates in what you hope is an unforgettable postnatal experience (although the details may be a bit fuzzy due to the celebratory drinks).
Six weeks later, you find yourself confirming that memorable night with a positive pregnancy test.
In conclusion, while it might seem that sleep often takes precedence over intimacy when you have young children, it’s essential to carve out moments for connection. Sometimes, you’ll choose romance, even if it’s interrupted by a teething baby. For more about family planning and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on the IVF process. If you’re looking for more information on at-home insemination, this Cryobaby kit is a great option. And for keeping your baby fresh and clean, consider these naturally scented cleansing wipes.