Hello there, kiddos! It’s your old man writing this, but don’t worry, you can’t read yet, and you have no idea what a blog is. Plus, you’re at that wonderful stage where you believe everything I say without question.
Lucky me.
I’ve got some secrets that could seriously undermine my authority if you ever stumbled upon them. Here are 10 little-known truths I plan to keep to myself—at least until you have kids of your own.
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TV is My Treat, Not Yours
Let’s face it—TV is my escape. I never promise you screen time for good behavior because when you’re being delightful, I don’t need a distraction. But when the chaos of toddler life hits, those 22 glorious minutes of your favorite shows are my reward. If you really want more TV, just know that acting out might just get you what you want. When we have those “movie days,” trust me, you’ve been a handful. -
I Indulge in Cookies While You Nap
You probably think I never eat, right? Well, that’s because I’m modeling healthy habits for you. But when you’re napping, it’s a different story. I binge on chocolate chip cookies and enjoy all the things I can’t have in front of you. Oh, the joy of those quiet moments! -
Your Tears Get Me Every Time
Whether it’s over a lost cookie or a toy, your emotional displays are Oscar-worthy. I can’t help but be swayed by your crocodile tears, even when I suspect you’re faking it. You’ve got talent, kids! Just remember, I can’t always give in, but I admire your skills. -
College Costs an Arm and a Leg
I’m so grateful you have no idea about money yet. If you knew how much college costs compared to our savings, you would probably cry every night. Imagine all the Play-Doh we have; it barely scratches the surface of what it takes for just one semester at your future college. We’ve got a long way to go and need to start saving now. -
I Secretly Adore Your Speech Quirks
While I’m not a fan of baby talk, there’s something endearing about your little speech mishaps. I love how you mispronounce words, and I find it adorable. Just know that I’ll help you learn to speak correctly while secretly cherishing those little moments. -
My Dad is No Longer Here
This one’s tough. I’ve shown you pictures of my dad, but you’re too young to grasp why you’ve never met him. I’m not ready to explain death to you, and I’m glad you haven’t asked yet. For now, I’ll tell you good stories about him and change the subject. -
Swearing is Off-Limits
You know that catchy song we sing? I always turn down the volume for certain parts because there are some words I’m happy you haven’t learned yet. Trust me, you’ll figure out those vocabulary gems later in life—just not now. -
I Was a Picky Eater Too
I spend a lot of energy trying to get you to eat things outside your comfort zone. Truth is, I was even more finicky at your age. As much as I want you to experience different foods, I also don’t want you to end up like me, who lived off peanut butter sandwiches until high school. -
I Will Eventually Return to Work
You may not understand the concept of work yet, but there will come a day when I’ll have to return to the workforce. I can’t express how much I cherish my time at home with you. But as you grow, I’ll need to balance my time with work commitments. -
You Are My Best Buds
I never thought I’d end up being best friends with my kids, but here we are. Don’t get me wrong; I love adult conversations, but your stories about school and friends bring me so much joy. You need me as a parent, though, not just a buddy.
In summary, every parent has their secrets, and while I’d love to share everything with you, some truths are best kept under wraps. As you grow, you’ll learn more about the world around you and why I have to keep some things to myself for now.
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