By: Emily Carter
Updated: Jan. 14, 2016
Originally Published: Dec. 12, 2012
“Is motherhood truly rewarding?” my coworker, Lisa, inquires with an air of skepticism from across the cafeteria table. We are perched on tall bar stools—her relaxed, as if settled into her natural environment, while I am acutely aware of my temporary status as a meal enjoyer and bar stool occupant.
I’ve only been here for two months, and she knows little of my life. At this point, I feel like a patchwork quilt—my life stitched together with early morning wake-ups, the occasional coffee-stained blazer, and mostly quiet weekends. Behind these life patches lies the essence of who I am at work: my personality, my work ethic, and my history.
“But is it really worth it?” she presses.
I scramble for the right words to share with her—and with you—but instead, a rehearsed, cookie-cutter response escapes my lips before I can catch it. I can sense her doubt. And honestly, who could blame her?
I’ve never had the courage to revisit this conversation, but what I should have conveyed is that YES, motherhood is absolutely worth it—not because it’s always a cakewalk or the ultimate joy, but because of all the insights I’ve gained about my children that would remain unknown if I hadn’t embarked on this journey. I know this sounds a bit like whimsical logic, but I believe it wholeheartedly: the discoveries I make about my kids and the knowledge I curate about them are the greatest treasures of motherhood.
What makes it worthwhile is knowing that I have a five-year-old son who adamantly refuses to sleep with his socks on. Night after night, he performs the same elaborate routine, worming his way under the blanket before sneakily tucking his bare feet just above my knees, holding his breath until he can’t help but burst out in laughter at my exaggerated surprise.
I understand exactly what he means when he asks, “Mama, please give me a dream,” or when he refers to someone as his “baddest chap.”
Had we not welcomed our second child—who would have predicted that our strikingly blonde firstborn would have a dark-haired little brother?—I would never have discovered that at two, my curly-haired son prefers to fall asleep on a blanket carefully laid on the floor, meticulously stacking his soft toys in the corner and covering them with his own blanket first. I wouldn’t know that he invites me to “fweep” beside him, nor that he would have a much less intense attachment to toys than his older brother did to his beloved blue bear.
Through him, I learned what it means to embody the fiery essence of personality, evident in his intense facial expressions and clenched teeth as he prepares to rush in for a passionate hug or a game of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” In fact, I didn’t even know I would be the one to invent that game.
I now understand the bittersweet sense of loss that many parents describe, which is such an intrinsic part of the experience of watching children grow out of various stages of childhood.
Absolutely, it’s worth it. You become an explorer, navigating both external and internal realms with your stroller and heart wide open. You’ll be astonished by your discoveries—realizing that you shaped the mold rather than simply following the recipe.
Look at him—who could have imagined your younger child would take such care in arranging toy cars in a precise line? He becomes visibly upset if one is ever moved. He beams with pride, exclaiming, “Look, I did!” emphasizing the “I.” This simple act of arranging toy cars has the power to fill you with an odd blend of wonder, curiosity, and—strangely—pride.
You may not have anticipated being emotionally punched in the heart and gut daily, but that is precisely what makes it worthwhile; you’ll find that you care deeply about nothing else in your life.
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Summary:
Motherhood is an enriching and deeply rewarding experience, not solely for the joys it brings but also for the insights gained about one’s children. From the nuances of their personalities to the unique routines they establish, the journey of motherhood is filled with profound discoveries that shape and define the parent-child relationship.