If you’ve got some spare cash and a craving for adventure, it’s time to gather the family for a vacation. However, if your goal is to rapidly deplete your funds, traveling with small kids is the perfect strategy!
- Choose Destinations with Kid-Centric Activities: Opt for places loaded with attractions designed for children, such as amusement parks or water parks. Just a heads up: always be truthful about your kids’ ages. The only people trying to sneak a discount for a child who just turned three are penny pinchers!
- Confirm Food and Drink Restrictions: Before you go, check that these fun-filled venues don’t allow outside food or drinks. Bonus points if they check bags at the entrance. Plan to stay long enough that you’ll need to buy at least two meals and snacks for each family member—around 45 minutes is ideal. And remember, if you hide a snack in your bag, you’re setting a bad example for your kids!
- Book a Hotel Right on the Beach: Think about the convenience! This will save you a whopping negative 20 minutes because, let’s be honest, it takes kids forever to walk 50 feet to the shoreline.
- Consult Your Partner on Packing: When your spouse suggests you’re overpacking, nod along and remove all suggested items. This guarantees you’ll have to buy essentials like sunscreen and band-aids at an inflated price from the hotel shop, ensuring you spend five times more than if you had just brought them from home.
- Select Locations with Gift Shops: Ensure your kids spot the gift shop when they’re feeling cranky and tired. The likelihood that you’ll resist their pleas for souvenirs at that moment is nearly zero, giving you yet another opportunity to part with your hard-earned cash.
- Seek Out Kid-Friendly Meals: It doesn’t matter that your children collectively weigh less than 80 pounds. Insist they each order their own $8.99 “kids’ meal” daily, regardless of whether they actually eat anything other than fries. Who cares about leftovers when you’re on vacation, right?
- Hire a Vacation Sitter: Pay for a local sitter who may not speak your language and might put your baby to nap in a makeshift bed of pillows. This way, you can enjoy a slightly overpriced dinner while worrying about your child’s well-being. Pro tip: Treat yourself to a new outfit and a mani/pedi beforehand to prepare for your night out.
- Opt for Two Connecting Rooms: This will allow the kids to nap away from you, which might sound appealing until they refuse to sleep at all, leaving you all crammed into one room with suitcases scattered across the floor. But hey, it’s just money!
- Consider a Cruise: You’ll be trapped at sea with your kids for days on end, and it’ll cost you a fortune. Just think of the therapy bills you’ll need afterward to recover from the experience!
- If You Still Have Money Left, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough: Don’t let a positive bank balance hold you back. Just one word can help you spend it all: Disney.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out our other blog post about at-home insemination. If you’re curious about when babies start to see and what they experience, this resource is excellent for that information. And if you’re looking for guidance on pregnancy and options like IVF, Healthline offers a wealth of information.
In summary, traveling with young children can be quite the financial adventure—one that quickly transforms your wallet from full to empty. From inflated meal prices to unexpected expenses, it’s a surefire way to ensure your budget suffers while you create lasting memories.