When you become pregnant, your body undergoes significant changes, and there’s no escaping that reality. As your baby develops, so do you—often in ways that can make you feel like you’re merely a vessel. It’s not just a minor adjustment; you become a nurturing home for another life. That little one craves everything you have to offer—your nutrients, your energy, your very essence. The moment you conceive, it stops being about you, and it will never return to being just about you.
This used to be accepted. Mothers everywhere reconciled with the fact that their bodies would never resemble their pre-pregnancy selves again. Regardless of how fit you were before, pregnancy reshapes everything, and some of those changes are permanent.
Then came the onslaught of media featuring celebrities who seem to bounce back effortlessly after childbirth. Stars like Emma Stone and Kourtney Kardashian flaunt their post-baby bodies, leaving the rest of us mere mortals feeling inadequate. It’s exhausting to think that, on top of everything else, we’re now expected to look fabulous while juggling motherhood. The pressures can be overwhelming—dieting, exercising, and adhering to every new wellness trend can make anyone’s head spin.
After my second child was born, I attempted to take up running. It was a blend of grueling and dull. I wasn’t particularly skilled at it, nor did I find it enjoyable. I spent eight months training, participated in two 5Ks (okay, I mostly walked the second), and quickly abandoned running.
I initially thought I needed to get fit—to be the quintessential “MILF.” With all the media portraying motherhood as a beauty contest, I just wanted to feel good about myself, to feel something other than exhaustion. Running seemed practical at the time since it was free and I could do it while tending to my son.
But then I stumbled upon the concept of Babywearing Ballet, and I was floored. Seriously? I know many parents advocate for babywearing, but to me, it’s often a necessity rather than a choice. When my baby is in a carrier, it’s typically because he’s fussy, and I need my hands free—especially with two other kids in tow.
I recognize that I need to get back into shape. I’m aware of that reality. I feel heavy, and I looked better while pregnant. My affinity for food and wine makes it hard to ignore the need for activity. But carrying around my 19-pound five-month-old doesn’t exactly cut it as exercise.
The idea of Babywearing Ballet is baffling. If a mother can afford a fitness class, why must she also strap her child onto her body? Can’t we carve out just an hour for ourselves? A small reprieve where we can drop the little one off at daycare while we focus on our own well-being? Is that too much to ask?
I do have friends who are in incredible shape—truly inspiring. They have the discipline to work out regularly, but none of them are dealing with a five-month-old. Their children are older, allowing them to utilize their time more effectively. Maybe in three years, I’ll be there too—here’s hoping.
I can’t shake the feeling that the trend of “bring-your-baby” fitness is a form of subtle manipulation. Why would anyone pay for a class that doesn’t include childcare? I certainly won’t. It’s absurd. We’re bombarded with the message to look young and fit, yet we’re given no time to achieve it on our own. “Look fabulous on a budget,” they say. But that’s simply not realistic. Those glamorous celebrity mothers appear that way because they have the resources to invest in their beauty.
I know what I can get with a $20 bill—tacos. And that sounds much more appealing than trying to juggle ballet moves while carrying a baby.
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In summary, the pressures of motherhood, especially regarding appearance, can be overwhelming. The emergence of trends like Babywearing Ballet only adds to the confusion, as they blur the lines between self-care and parenting responsibilities. Sometimes, all a mom really needs is a moment to herself.