After having four children in just seven years, I’m currently feeling the full impact of that questionable timing. My youngest is now 13 (I just saw him eat again after dinner. Hold on—here he comes for more…) while my oldest is about to turn 21 (he thinks that being close to that age gives him the right to enjoy a few beers in his room and stash the empties under his bed. Who knows, I might soon be down to three kids. I digress…). Add in a 15-year-old who spends more time grooming himself than the entire family combined, and a free-spirited 19-year-old college sophomore who hasn’t found a house rule that she thinks “makes sense,” and it’s clear why my patience has worn thin this summer.
My house has become a revolving door of kids at all hours, constant snacking, and typical teenage antics, all while they leave a chaotic mess of clothes, dishes, wrappers, and towels in their wake. It’s enough to make me see red, far beyond any sunburn I’ve experienced. As I navigate through the endless clutter—tripping over sneakers and dodging half-eaten snacks—my irritation often turns to full-blown anger.
When my kindness is taken for granted, I won’t sugarcoat it: I get furious. I start to reflect on the comfortable life I provide, considering the countless hours spent cooking and cleaning, as if I’m stuck on some twisted hamster wheel of parental duties. Then I focus on everything they neglect to do. If only our dog didn’t have its invisible cloak during the summer, maybe they’d actually notice him! When my straightforward house rules are disregarded to the point where I feel like a joke, that’s when I truly lose it.
In the past, Psycho Mom would rear her head during these moments. She’d scream, rant, and take away electronics, grounding any kid within sight until she regained some semblance of control—at least temporarily. These methods still resonate with my teens; I’ve hidden the boys’ gaming console until their summer reading is completed, and one kid has lost his phone for the entire summer due to some poor choices. But as kids grow older, the rules of the game have to shift. If you’re raising young adults as I am (check out my previous post for five tips), your kids might even be contributing financially to the household. It’s tricky to ground a kid who drives around in their own car, insured with their own money.
Enter Tough Love Mom, who now steps in to enforce discipline. Case in point: my husband and I recently took our two youngest kids away for a weekend, leaving our older ones at home to fulfill their work obligations, tend to the elusive dog, and act like responsible adults. We left behind a detailed list of clear expectations.
Upon returning home, it took mere seconds to uncover the chaos that had ensued. Friends had crashed at our place without our consent, and the party atmosphere was palpable (despite their protests, that one bottle cap under the toaster oven told a different story).
Consequently, they were held accountable. Since they treated my home like a hotel, they were each required to pay a fee of $125. I also made it clear that if this ever happened again, the charge would quadruple, and they’d be staring down some serious financial consequences, especially with those student loans that have co-signers. Just saying.
Tough Love Mom earned $250 that day. I’m probably going to stash it away for my high school reunion in September. I can already picture myself sharing this amusing story with friends who undoubtedly faced similar situations back in their day.
This article was originally published on Dec. 3, 2012.
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Summary:
In “The Tough Love Mom,” Jenna Peterson reflects on the challenges of parenting four kids within a short span. As her children grow, she navigates the complexities of discipline and responsibility, adapting to their evolving needs and behaviors. From managing teenage chaos to enforcing consequences for breaking house rules, Jenna shares her journey of maintaining order amidst the chaos of family life.