Updated: Oct. 2, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 13, 2012
Before I became a mom to two energetic boys, I wouldn’t have labeled myself a complete girly-girl, but I definitely took pleasure in wearing makeup, dressing nicely, and accessorizing. Now, though, I feel like I might need a crash course in makeup application by the time my kids are grown. After a long day of putting my sons to bed and unwinding with a cold drink while catching up on my favorite shows, I’m left wondering when I morphed into someone who seems so far removed from femininity.
I might be making broad assumptions about gender behaviors, but my observations are primarily based on my husband, who fits many of the classic male stereotypes. With that said, here are some of the ways motherhood has led me to adopt some of his traits—perhaps it’s time to reconnect with my feminine side before my house fills with even more testosterone!
1. I Can Get Ready in 5 Minutes
I used to be envious of my husband’s ability to get ready in a flash. My morning routine involved a lengthy shower, hairstyling, makeup application, and trying on multiple outfits, taking over an hour. His routine? A 3-minute shower followed by a quick tooth brushing and dressing. Having kids taught me his essential secret: not caring as much. Now, I can squeeze in a shower, slap on some powder and mascara, and throw my hair up in a ponytail—all in under ten minutes. I find myself waiting in the car with the kids while he finishes getting ready. It’s frustrating!
2. I’m Comfortable in Public
Well, almost. I struggled with breastfeeding my first child, but when I successfully nursed my second, I had to overcome my discomfort about nursing in public. The first time I did it, I felt exposed and vulnerable. But when your baby is crying, it’s remarkable how quickly those feelings fade. I’ve noticed that I often wear the least convenient tops for breastfeeding in the most crowded places. Then I glance at the men around me and think, “Seriously, cover that up!”
3. I Rely on My Kitchen Helper
I might call it my wife, but it’s actually a crockpot. Cooking has become more about assembling food rather than creating culinary masterpieces. When I do decide to whip something up, it’s usually a last-minute concoction from whatever is in the fridge. If it turns out well, I boast about it as if I catered a grand event. But I ensure these occasions are rare so my husband doesn’t start expecting gourmet dinners regularly.
4. Foreplay Has Been Replaced by ‘After Sleep’
With a sleep schedule dictated by my four-year-old, my nights have become unpredictable. He often wanders into our bed in the wee hours, and we never know if it’s a nightmare or if he wants to share a random fact. Right now, the most appealing form of intimacy is simply enjoying some quiet time after the kids are asleep. Forget cuddling; with the snoring and warmth, it’s not happening!
5. I’ve Grown Accustomed to Grossness
In my pre-mom life, I would have never imagined catching poop in my hands to save my carpet. But when my first son decided to go diaper-free, that became a reality. My husband was horrified, but oddly, I didn’t mind. I’ve found myself doing all sorts of messy things I would have previously avoided. Using my fingers to clean boogers or manage vomit has become second nature. My husband might be reconsidering his room situation after witnessing all this!
6. The Smell Test Has Become My Norm
Before kids, I meticulously did the laundry, concerned about my husband’s habit of not following my instructions. I used to wonder why my laundry load was so much heavier. He introduced me to the “smell test”—if it didn’t smell bad, it was good to go. Now, I rummage through the hamper thinking, “These pants still have life left.” With triple the laundry and half the wardrobe, I’m discovering how far I can stretch my clothing options.
7. My Listening Skills Have Deteriorated
My husband has a unique way of pretending to listen, often interjecting with “right” at the most inconvenient moments. I used to pride myself on being a good listener. Now, I have a son who asks the same question repeatedly, and my conversations are constantly interrupted. I’ve found myself adopting my husband’s technique, nodding and saying “right” while my son insists on finishing his thought.
So, am I generalizing? Perhaps a bit. But meeting in the middle isn’t such a bad thing. My husband’s nurturing side surprises me, and as for my newfound resilience, my white carpet is certainly better off for it. If you’re curious about parenting tips or want to read more about home insemination, check out Make a Mom, which has engaging content on the subject. Additionally, for some creative cooking inspiration with kids, visit Cooking with Kids. For more pregnancy-related resources, CCRM IVF is an excellent site to explore.
In conclusion, motherhood has certainly changed me in ways I never expected, blending my traits with those of my partner as we navigate this journey together.