Parenting
Updated: Oct. 7, 2019
Originally Published: Oct. 8, 2012
As I stepped into my daughter Ava’s third-grade classroom, her teacher lightly placed a hand on my arm. “I need to discuss something regarding Ava,” she said. That phrase can send a jolt of anxiety through any parent. Instantly, my mind raced through possible scenarios, and they rarely skewed positive based on our past experiences.
From kindergarten, I sensed something was amiss. Call it a mother’s instinct. It all began with sight words. Night after night, tears flowed as she struggled. I felt my frustration grow when she confused “we” with “me” or “in” with “it.” Couldn’t she see the difference? “Just sound it out,” I urged. “What sound does an m make?” She could recite the letter sounds flawlessly during quizzes, but translating those sounds into the words on the page was an entirely different battle.
The day she brought home her first reader was filled with excitement. Since her birth, I had envisioned the moment she would learn to read. A lifelong passion for books fueled my anticipation, and I was eager to share that joy with her. However, when we sat down together, she tripped over the words, claiming they danced and shifted on the page. Frustration enveloped us both, turning what should have been a delightful experience into a stressful ordeal filled with tears.
Her teacher reassured me that it was a developmental phase, yet the challenges persisted into first grade. As the year went on, her reading grades slipped into the Bs, and homework became increasingly daunting. She continued to voice her struggles with the words dancing around her. Her handwriting was nearly indecipherable, and spelling remained a nightmare.
It felt like a horror movie—one where I was the monster. “Just write the words five times; you’ll memorize them,” I suggested, unaware of the weight my words carried. Ava often cried over the small books assigned from school. “Are you really trying?” I would ask, cringing now at my misguided attempts to motivate her. Deep down, I knew something was wrong. I approached her teacher once more, asking, “Could she have dyslexia?” The teacher advised me to wait. I did, but things only worsened.
At the end-of-year conference, I finally received the recommendation to have her tested for dyslexia as soon as the new school year began. Her teacher believed it had evolved beyond a simple developmental issue. I agreed to wait through the summer, hoping for improvement.
Second grade proved to be a struggle, exacerbated by an unyielding teacher. Ava’s grades plummeted to Cs, and her self-esteem took a hit. She began to feel inadequate, thinking she was “stupid.” Finally, in March of her second-grade year, she underwent testing. The diagnosis of dyslexia, coupled with Irlen syndrome—a condition that makes words appear to “dance”—came as a revelation.
Her dyslexia intervention teacher said, “I can’t fathom how difficult this has been for her. I’m amazed she maintained such good grades.” I understood; as her mother, I recognized her resilience.
On that day in her third-grade classroom, my heart raced. I believed she was flourishing. Finally, as the classroom settled, her teacher approached me. “Ava is excelling! We’re thrilled to have her in class, and her progress this year has been remarkable. We’re so proud of her.” In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride.
Fast forward a year and a half post-diagnosis, I entered her bedroom at bedtime. I settled into my spot on her bed, pulling the covers up, leaning against the pillows. “Read me a story,” I asked with a smile. “Okay, but be quiet and listen,” she replied, giggling. For the next twenty minutes, she read to me from a book of her choice. Some words posed challenges, and at times, she stumbled or misread, saying “throw” instead of “though.” But she was reading to me.
My daughter is finally learning to read.
This article was originally published on Oct. 8, 2012.
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In summary, Ava’s journey through dyslexia has been fraught with challenges, yet her resilience and growth are nothing short of inspiring. From initial struggles to a newfound ability in reading, her story reminds us of the importance of patience and support in overcoming obstacles.