Updated: December 15, 2015
Originally Published: July 23, 2012
Relocating to a new city can be challenging, but managing remote work with three school-aged children and one at home is even more demanding. Searching for playmates for my lonely four-year-old feels like a daunting task, leaving me to question whether I should have had a fifth child just for companionship. It’s a frustrating cycle.
Once upon a time, I prided myself on being an ideal parent. I organized playgroups and coordinated outfits for my boys every day. Our routine included dedicated bath times with appropriate toys and regular visits to public libraries. I poured my energy into creating engaging activities like homemade playdough and Jell-O finger painting, trying to pack 18 years of parenting into the first four.
Back then, my strict rule was to limit my children’s screen time to the medically recommended two hours a day—except on particularly tough days when they might have watched three hours (which happened a couple of times). I was adamant about keeping away from shows like SpongeBob or the action-packed reruns of Power Rangers. I even avoided Sesame Street, convinced it was linked to the rise in ADD and Autism. Instead, my kids enjoyed a carefully curated lineup featuring Barney, Baby Einstein, and the occasional Disney movie—only if it was raining.
Fast forward a decade, and now I find myself alone at home with my youngest child, who is just a year away from the magical world of public school. I wish I could say she participates in playdates and zoo outings, but honestly, I’m too fatigued and uninterested in chasing after other mothers who still take the time to bathe their children regularly.
So, what do you do with the last child? You let them watch whatever they please on TV and distract them with crayons and cardboard boxes while you work. A few Cheerios scattered on the floor, a trickling faucet for her to play with, and Baby Bratz on screen—voilà! Four hours of work done with minimal complaints. Thanks to my smartphone, I can seamlessly switch her to the next show without leaving my desk.
Sure, we attempt to watch educational programs like Super Why and Daniel Tiger to support her learning, but with only six hours of preschool each week, it hardly fills her social calendar.
I’ve decided to let go of the guilt. By some miracle, she’s already grasped how to write some letters and numbers while teaching herself to tie her shoes. My previous efforts to limit screen time for my second child didn’t prevent Autism, so I’m not overly concerned about her brain turning to mush.
As mothers, we sometimes must prioritize what needs to be done. At my age, I remember spending my four-year-old days at my father’s real estate office while my mother worked. There were no iPads or DVDs, just me surrounded by old filing cabinets. The year turned into a nightmare until my father bought a new “VCR” and a lonely video that I replayed endlessly—it truly changed my childhood. To this day, I can recite every line from Charlotte’s Web.
I’ve stopped criticizing myself for the fact that my youngest has to spend a year at home without a sibling to play with. I can’t always be her playmate, and I reject the notion that I must engage in educational games with her all day long. My days of intense learning are behind me.
If she wants me to babysit her dolls while they nap, fine. Otherwise, let’s see if we can pick up a bit of Spanish from Dora today, shall we? For more creative ideas on keeping your little ones hydrated, check out this article on tasty recipes that can help boost water intake.
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Summary
In this article, Mia shares her journey of evolving parenting styles, reflecting on the transition from strict rules about screen time to a more relaxed approach with her youngest child. She discusses the challenges of parenting in a new city while juggling work and the importance of letting go of guilt. Embracing the joys and complexities of motherhood, Mia acknowledges the necessity of adapting to changing circumstances, all while finding humor in the chaos.