My children have an extraordinary talent for sensing when I’m engaged in activities that don’t involve them, showcasing a remarkable knack for interruption driven entirely by FOMO (fear of missing out, for those who may not know). It’s as if they’re already in their teenage years, worrying that something exciting is happening without them. Here’s a rundown of the top ten scenarios where their interruptions are inevitable.
- Savoring Treats: I have a serious sweet tooth, and like many kids, my little ones do too. Hidden away in a cabinet high enough to be out of their sight (even when they try to climb up), I have a stash of goodies just for me. Yet, the moment I manage to sneak a few gummy candies, my five-year-old, Detective Sweet Tooth, appears as if by magic, sniffing around and demanding to know, “What’s that? What are you eating?” His talent for detecting sugar is truly impressive.
- Trying to Work: When my kids seem happily occupied playing, I seize the moment to sneak away and get some work done. But as soon as I sit at my laptop, they magically appear beside me asking, “What are you doing, Mom?” “Can I play a game?” “Show me pictures!” It’s as if my laptop emits a secret signal that only they can hear.
- Making Phone Calls: Just when I think I can enjoy a moment of peace on the phone, as soon as I lift it to my ear, chaos ensues. Suddenly, every pressing issue in the world needs my immediate attention. “Mommy, I need to go potty!” or “Where’s my favorite toy?” It’s like my kids have a sixth sense for timing, which ensures that telemarketers never stay on the line long.
- Taking Showers: While I attempt to enjoy a moment of privacy in the shower, I inevitably have an audience. No matter how quickly I try to sneak in, there’s always at least one little one right outside the bathroom door, chatting away about their day. It’s a small price to pay for hygiene, I suppose.
- Watching TV: Sunday evenings are meant for relaxation with a glass of wine and a favorite show. But as soon as I settle in to watch the latest episode of my series, I can count on the sound of little feet padding down the hallway, forcing us to scramble to turn off the screen before any embarrassing scenes unfold.
- Exercising: In my quest to get back in shape after having two kids, I find it nearly impossible to work out without interruptions. As soon as I hit the floor for some sit-ups, my kids think it’s the perfect time to jump on me. It’s like they have a radar for when I’m trying to focus on fitness.
- Intimacy: With the hectic life of parenting, those rare moments for intimacy seem to coincide with kid emergencies. Whether it’s teething pain or a bad dream, my husband jokingly refers to our children as “the cutest cock blocks” ever.
- Adult Conversations: There’s a fine line between engaging in meaningful discussions about family matters and being bombarded by questions about superheroes. Every time my partner and I try to have a serious conversation, we’re quickly interrupted, leading our chats to devolve into discussions of who’s the best character in a comic book.
- Weekend Mornings: During the week, I struggle to wake my preschooler, while on weekends, they seem to have an internal clock that kicks in at 6 AM. It’s perplexing how they manage to know when we’re supposed to be sleeping in.
- Bathroom Visits: Just when I think I’ve secured a moment of solitude in the bathroom, there’s an immediate knock followed by a chorus of “Mommy, what are you doing?” I can only assume they picture me throwing a lavish party in there, complete with snacks and entertainment.
This article originally appeared on June 21, 2012.
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In summary, parenting is filled with humorous interruptions, making it nearly impossible to enjoy a moment of peace. From sweet treats to bathroom breaks, my children have a unique talent for sensing when I’m engaged in something they consider more interesting.