Once, my partner, Jake, took pride in naming my blog. “Without me, there wouldn’t even be a website!” he’d tease his siblings. And he had a point. The title emerged during a period when he was just two years old and afraid of nearly everything: his room, his car seat, his meals… and even me. The moment he said “Scary Mommy,” I knew my blog had found its name. Fast forward to today, and Jake’s perspective on my work has shifted dramatically. While his siblings thrive on the attention, he prefers to stay out of the spotlight. Just last week, as I prepared for a brief trip, he teared up, saying, “I wish I’d never come up with that name. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t need to go.” Talk about a punch to the gut!
These past few weeks have been exhilarating—book launches, glamorous hotel stays, talk shows, and even landing on the New York Times list. I’m still in disbelief. Yet, amidst all the excitement, I can’t shake the feeling that my place is at home in my yoga pants, surrounded by the very kids who inspired my journey. At the end of my readings, attendees often ask how I manage to find balance in my life. The question always makes me chuckle because balance is the last thing I have achieved. I get restless when I’m not engaged in something, but when I am, I worry my family is missing out. I wish I could savor these thrilling moments in smaller doses, but that’s not how life seems to operate.
Writing this, I’m on my way to New York for four days. I’ll miss Jake’s birthday and skip a baseball game and school performance. Sure, I get a king-sized bed, but the price is high. I find it hard to sleep without hearing my kids’ breaths.
This Mother’s Day, for the first time since my daughter Lily was a baby, I don’t want a day away. It turns out that having too little time with my children is more challenging than having too much.
Resources for Family Planning
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In summary, navigating the world of motherhood can be filled with guilt, especially when juggling exciting opportunities and family commitments. While I cherish the thrills of my career, my heart remains grounded in my home life.