The Seven Phases of Shopping at Target with Kids

  1. Denial
    I need to hit Target. I’ve got a little one with me. This time will be different—we’ll just grab the toilet paper and milk, and we’ll be out. No meltdowns this time, I promise. I can handle this.
  2. Frustration
    Why does this always happen to me? Why are my kids so incapable of getting through a shopping trip without a total breakdown? This is absurd. I’m at my wits’ end with them.
  3. Negotiation
    How about we just stick to the Dollar Spot? You can choose any toy there! How about TWO toys? A glow stick and a plastic bucket! Or maybe some stickers? Oh, and candy? I’ll even throw in M&Ms! Just please, no tears.
  4. Self-Doubt
    What have I done to deserve a child like this? Was it the formula I chose? The pacifier I allowed for too long? Did I spoil them? Is it my fault they can’t cope? What am I messing up?
  5. Despair
    I’m the worst parent ever. I’ll never be able to take my kids anywhere peacefully. This is just awful.
  6. Resignation
    Alright, you win. Go ahead and pick a toy from the aisle. Enjoy your new toy. There goes my budget for the week. Let’s just get this over with.
  7. Remorse
    What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have caved—lesson learned. Kids and Target just don’t mix. I mean it this time.

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And of course, I forgot the toilet paper again.

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Summary

Navigating a shopping trip to Target with children can be a rollercoaster of emotions, from denial to regret. Parents often find themselves bargaining for cooperation and grappling with feelings of guilt and frustration. However, it’s essential to remember that these experiences are common, and there are resources available to help with both parenting and fertility.