“If only you could borrow my perspective, you’d see how wonderful he truly is.” That’s what my grandmother would say whenever anyone dared to criticize my grandfather. Their love was a remarkable bond that I aspire to experience. I genuinely believe that everyone deserves such profound affection—a connection so powerful that it allows one to overlook certain imperfections, because nobody is flawless. Take my husband, for instance.
While he has an uncanny knack for locating the TV remote (even when it’s buried in couch cushions), he struggles to find basic household items. “Where’s the flashlight?” he’ll inquire. “It’s in the utility drawer.” “No, it’s not. I checked.” So, I find myself pausing Netflix, putting down my drink, and retrieving it for him. “Yes, it is.” “Oh, I didn’t see it.” This scenario plays out repeatedly throughout the day with dish towels, notepads, and various kitchen utensils.
My husband seems to have a firm belief in fairies—specifically the Soap Fairy who magically refills hand soap dispensers. He must think this fairy also handles toilet paper, lightbulbs, bed-making, and vacuuming. If he doesn’t witness these chores happening, it must be fairy magic at work.
Here are some additional quirks I choose to overlook regularly:
- Our Bed Is a War Zone: It’s as if my husband dreams of being a ninja; he flails his arms in his sleep, inadvertently hitting me quite often. Sorry, love, but you’ll never be the next Karate Kid. To survive the night, I’ve constructed a fortress of pillows and sleep as far away as possible, all while dodging his restless legs, which often leave me waking up in a panic, thinking we’re experiencing an earthquake.
- The Dishes Dilemma: Why is it so challenging for him to place dirty dishes in the sink or, even better, the dishwasher? Coffee cups seem to multiply around the house, and empty snack containers find their way to the living room. It appears he can’t manage to take two extra steps, or perhaps a magical force field protects the sink from dirty dishes. Oh wait, I’ve been guilty of this too. Never mind.
- Clothes Chaos: Despite being a star athlete in high school, my husband can’t manage to get his socks and underwear into the hamper. Instead, clothing piles up around the hamper, the bathroom, and the bedroom floor. I’ve even toyed with the idea of installing a scoreboard on the hamper to encourage better behavior.
- Laundry Mishaps: My husband once ruined my favorite sweater by washing it with new jeans. The blue dye turned it into a canvas of disappointment, and he promptly declared, “I can never do laundry again.” And true to his word, he doesn’t. Thankfully, he never complains when I need to rewash loads I’ve forgotten or when he has to dress in the laundry room.
- The Noisy Gas Emissions: Let’s talk about his farts—these are no ordinary emissions. He produces sounds that could rattle the furniture and register on the Richter scale. Our children have learned to steer clear of him from behind, as the force can literally knock them over. While I believe everyone should feel comfortable in their own home, his thunderous toots can scare the dog. Perhaps we need a new term for these explosive moments: Fartlosion? Atomic Stink Bomb? Colon Quake?
- The Chainsaw Snores: Can we address the snoring? His nightly symphony is so disruptive that our son has asked to switch bedrooms because it wakes him. I have no sympathy, as I share the bed with a human chainsaw. Earplugs are my best friends, and I’m surprised we haven’t received noise complaints from the neighbors. On the bright side, I don’t need to invest in a vibrating bed; I already have one.
I’m sure I have my own quirks that drive him a little nuts, but when I asked him what I could improve about myself, he brought me a cup of coffee (that he brewed) and said without hesitation, “Nothing. You have no quirks.” So, perhaps he is perfect—perfect for me.
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In summary, love often means embracing the quirks and imperfections of our partners. My husband may have his flaws, but those are easily overshadowed by the love we share.