Pregnancy
The Challenge of Urine Samples During Pregnancy
by Laura Jennings
Updated: May 7, 2016
Originally Published: Feb. 17, 2012
For pregnant women, navigating the world of urine samples is a constant chore. At nearly every doctor’s appointment, the handwashing ritual kicks in—because who wouldn’t want to ensure cleanliness after a urine test? By the time you reach the third trimester, the act of urinating into a cup could easily qualify as an Olympic sport. The amount of dexterity and patience required to achieve this feat is nothing short of remarkable.
The primary obstacle? The sheer size of a third-trimester belly versus the minuscule size of a sample cup. It’s akin to trying to land a single drop of liquid on the head of a pin while blindfolded. The origins of this skillful challenge can be traced back to the realization that:
- Pregnant women’s urine can provide crucial health information.
- Watching a pregnant woman attempt this task is often comical.
Here are some tasks that are surprisingly easier than managing to pee in that tiny cup:
- Becoming the President of the United States with a background in nutrition and animal sciences.
- Embracing a planet in a hug.
- Pronouncing most IKEA furniture names correctly.
- Extracting a Capri Sun straw from its wrapper.
- Building a fully operational rocket out of tape and popsicle sticks that can actually reach orbit.
- Catching a naked toddler sprinting down the hallway at bath time.
- Winning the Tour de France on a unicycle.
- Convincing my cats to use the litter box properly.
- Avoiding all political ads during election season.
- Stopping Old Faithful from erupting with just a piece of chewing gum.
If I had a greater grasp of physics, I could explain why this is such a challenge. At this stage, each attempt at using the cup feels like I’m orchestrating a one-woman fountain show in the restroom. When the nurse casually inquires if I’ve submitted my urine sample, I can only smile, knowing it has ended up everywhere but the intended destination.
I did, however, make sure to wash my hands.
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