50 Reasons Against Parenting

At home insemination

Updated: Feb. 8, 2021

Originally Published: Feb. 9, 2012

Recently, during a weekend visit with friends, we casually encountered their neighbors. “How’s your weekend going?” they asked. The father replied, “It’s great, but the Smoklers are certainly great birth control.” Interesting perspective! While I appreciate their honesty, I beg to differ. There are far more compelling reasons not to embark on the parenting journey. Here are 50 reasons to reconsider:

1. The discomfort of throwing up in the kitchen sink when the bathroom is too far.
2. The numerous stretch marks that seem to multiply.
3. The inability to wear your wedding ring due to swollen fingers.
4. The awkwardness of intimacy with a baby on board.
5. Cankles—a dreaded reality.
6. The irony of not having your period but still needing pads.
7. The disorientation of not recognizing your own reflection.
8. The grueling nine months of pregnancy.
9. The excruciating experience of childbirth.
10. The placenta—need I say more?
11. The relief and challenge of that first post-delivery poop.
12. The dried umbilical cord that seems to be hanging on for dear life.
13. The workout involved in securing an infant car seat.
14. Running out of wipes at the most inopportune times.
15. The flood of unsolicited parenting advice from everyone around.
16. The awkwardness of using a breast pump.
17. Writing thank-you notes for baby gifts while barely coherent.
18. The realization that baby weight isn’t just going to disappear.
19. The constant worry about waking a baby after a long struggle to get them to sleep.
20. The challenge of trimming those tiny fingernails.
21. The anxiety of checking to ensure a sleeping baby is still breathing.
22. The stress surrounding vaccinations.
23. The fear that a baby’s floppy head could somehow detach.
24. The necessity of taking rectal temperatures.
25. The pain of sore nipples.
26. The challenge of keeping the right diaper sizes on hand.
27. The struggle of keeping those diapers on.
28. The inability to engage in adult conversations.
29. The physical strain of carrying an infant carrier everywhere.
30. The guilt of not filling out every page in the baby book.
31. The sheer mess of projectile vomit.
32. The helplessness of a screaming baby in a rear-facing car seat while driving.
33. The task of sterilizing bottles endlessly.
34. The frantic search for a lost pacifier in the dead of night.
35. The constant reminder of spit-up on your shoulders.
36. Coming to terms with your feet not returning to their original size.
37. The relentless loop of Baby Einstein videos.
38. The neck strain from falling asleep in the rocking chair.
39. The exhaustion of sleep deprivation.
40. The fear that your baby might prefer anyone else over you.
41. The joy of feeding them prunes, chicken and rice, and squash.
42. The challenges of teething.
43. The nuisance of ear infections.
44. Dreading the six-week postpartum checkup.
45. The horror of explosive diarrhea.
46. Navigating a stroller through stores not designed for them.
47. The necessity of changing crib sheets frequently.
48. The disappointment of trying on pre-baby jeans for the first time.
49. The frustration of a clean, fed, and burped baby still crying for hours.
50. The realization that babies grow into… children.

If you’re considering your options, check out this blog post for insights into your fertility journey. You might also find valuable support from this article that discusses how loved ones can step in during this time. Additionally, for a comprehensive overview of different treatments, visit WebMD.

In summary, while the joys of parenting can be profound, the challenges are equally daunting. It’s essential to weigh these factors carefully before making such a significant life decision.