I recently bumped into a familiar face at the school, and in the midst of our hurried strides down the hallway, she remarked, “Your book is coming out soon — are you excited?”
“Absolutely!” I’m sure she anticipated me to say. “I’m beyond thrilled,” as we both headed toward the parking lot. Of course, I should feel excited about my book launch; otherwise, why would anyone ask? It’s akin to the standard greeting of “How’s it going?” with an expected answer of “Good.”
But here’s the kicker: I’m a notorious over-sharer and, to be honest, a bit of a wreck.
“Excited? Well, that’s not quite the right word,” I replied, dropping my bag with a thud. “In reality,” I exhaled, “I’m freaking out.”
“What if the book flops? I’ve invested so much of myself into it. What if nobody relates? What if no one wants to promote it? What if critics tear it apart? What if my publisher is let down by sales? What if I embarrass myself during promotions? What if I get stage fright at a reading?”
I took a moment to breathe.
“I get it, I really do. I should be grateful to have completed a book, and I should enjoy the journey. Who cares if it doesn’t do well? I’ll be fine, right? Yet, I can’t seem to shake the anxiety. I don’t know why, but it’s overwhelming.”
I leaned against the wall, seeking some support. “I am excited, but there’s just so much else swirling around in my head. I’m not accustomed to this kind of pressure, you know? This level of accountability is new to me, and it doesn’t feel healthy. It’s terrifying. I mean—”
“Hold on a second,” my acquaintance interrupted as she rifled through her silent phone. “I think I heard something. It must be important. Oh wait, it is. Very important. Good luck!”
With that, she dashed away, likely whispering to an imaginary friend about an urgent matter that required her immediate attention to escape the presence of a very real, anxious person. I haven’t seen her since, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she changed schools to avoid another awkward encounter. I can’t blame her at all.
The Takeaway
Don’t ask me how I feel about my book unless you genuinely want to hear the truth. And trust me, you probably don’t.
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In Summary
Navigating the emotions surrounding a book release can be overwhelming, especially when the pressure mounts. While excitement is natural, it often gets tangled with anxiety and self-doubt. Always remember to seek support and information along the way.