This month marks 27 years since my husband, Mark, and I first crossed paths. By “celebrate,” I mean we’ll likely let the day slip by unnoticed.
Having spent more than half my life with Mark, it’s hard to imagine life without him. From the very beginning, we realized our connection extended beyond a few casual dates—partly due to his need for someone to look after his dog while he attended night classes, but that’s a story for another time. Although our journey hasn’t been without its challenges, I’m convinced we’ve built a strong foundation over the years. We find happiness in each other’s company—even during those moments when we don’t.
There are several reasons why our marriage could be considered improbable, yet here we are:
- Limited Common Interests: While we share values and life goals, our hobbies don’t align. I admire couples who garden together or enjoy DIY projects. For us, our downtime often consists of lounging on the couch, napping, or binge-watching TV.
- He’s Not My Ideal Type: You might wonder how we’ve thrived for nearly three decades if he’s not my type. It’s true; my “type” typically includes dashing actors like Chris Hemsworth and Mahershala Ali, while Mark is fair-skinned with a sprinkle of freckles. Yet, after all this time, I find him attractive for reasons beyond just looks.
- Shoe Etiquette: Mark tends to wear his shoes indoors—a habit I never fully embraced. I’d prefer to kick off my shoes as soon as I enter the house, but he sticks to his routine. Even after all these years, I still question him when I see him walking around with shoes on.
- Football Fanaticism: Growing up with a father who was intensely invested in football, I never thought I’d end up with someone who shares that fervor. Thankfully, Mark doesn’t gamble on games, but his enthusiasm can be a lot to handle, especially when his team doesn’t perform well.
- Reading Habits: I’m an avid reader, while Mark’s interest in books is more casual. Thankfully, I can enjoy my novels while he’s engrossed in yet another football game. It still surprises me to have married someone who doesn’t share my passion for reading.
- Movie Preferences: Mark loves war and prison films, while I tend to shy away from them. He could watch “The Shawshank Redemption” every night, but luckily, he’s understanding and allows me to choose our movie outings.
- Financial Philosophy: Mark is a saver, and I’m a spender. If it were up to him, we’d still have the mismatched furniture he owned when we met. I’ve introduced some upgrades, although he might still have a soft spot for that old chair.
- Different Activity Levels: My lack of athleticism is a well-known fact, and I know Mark wishes I would join him for outdoor activities. Unfortunately, I’m quite content in my sedentary ways.
- Culinary Backgrounds: Raised in Wisconsin, Mark has a fondness for bratwurst, a food I had never tried until we met. Coming from New York, I was more accustomed to hot dogs.
So, what keeps our marriage strong?
The simple decision to love one another every day. Even when we’re at odds, whether due to a disappointing football game or my shoe purchases that arrive at the door, we choose to stick together.
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In summary, our marriage thrives not because we are perfectly matched, but because we actively choose to love each other every single day.