As a new parent, I’ve found myself weaving a few falsehoods to protect my son. For instance, I occasionally promise him ice cream tomorrow, but when the day comes and he forgets, I choose not to remind him. I know indulging him would spoil his dinner, so I keep quiet. By the time he remembers, we’ve passed the ice cream shop, and he settles for a proper meal instead. It’s a small fib, but one I tell for his own benefit.
Then there are those moments when I insist that if he doesn’t fall asleep within ten minutes, I’ll leave him to sleep alone. The reality is, I won’t get any rest until he’s asleep. The thought of him drifting off without my presence is too much for me to bear, so I resort to threats. It works; he eventually surrenders to sleep while I complete my evening tasks. In parenting, sometimes you have to take desperate measures to maintain sanity.
Of course, I’ve also told him that Santa will be delivering presents this year, and I’ll likely continue this tradition for years to come. I’ll eagerly anticipate the arrival of the Easter Bunny and encourage him to expect a surprise from the tooth fairy when he loses his first tooth. These are the little lies of childhood that I can accept. However, there’s one untruth I refuse to share with my son: “You can be anything you want.”
I understand this phrase is often spoken with good intentions, meant to inspire and motivate. But I believe this notion can be misleading. While I wholeheartedly support my son and believe in his potential, the truth is that he cannot do absolutely anything he wishes. Everyone has limitations, and he is no exception.
Not every person possesses the skills or temperament needed for every job. Some may lack the steadiness required for surgery, while others might not have the patience to teach. Similarly, not everyone can become a fighter pilot due to physical constraints. It’s simply part of being human.
What I truly want for my son is to explore his abilities and embrace new experiences. If he wants to audition for the school spelling bee, I’ll encourage him—even if he struggles with simple words. Should he wish to join the band or choir, I’ll support him, even if he’s tone deaf. If he wishes to try various sports, I’ll be there to sign him up, regardless of his skill level.
My goal is to help him improve in any pursuit he chooses, as long as he remains eager to try. He can aim for the baseball team year after year, but there’s a chance he may not possess the necessary strength to pitch for the middle school or high school teams—and that’s perfectly fine. I want him to understand that it’s okay if some dreams are beyond his reach; it doesn’t mean he has failed. It simply means he is human.
As my son is still a toddler, I have no way of knowing his future strengths or interests. He might be drawn to the spotlight or prefer the quiet of a classroom. I can’t predict what dreams he will chase. However, one thing is certain: I won’t mislead him. If a dream is unattainable due to his physical abilities or personality traits, I’ll be honest about it.
Because that’s my role as his mother—I cannot tell him a lie.
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In summary, while it’s essential to encourage children to dream big, it’s equally important to help them understand their limitations. As a parent, guiding them through this journey with honesty ensures they remain grounded and equipped to find their true passions.