As dawn broke over the Nebraska plains, I glanced at my children in the rearview mirror during our long drive back to the East Coast. My daughter was peacefully sleeping, while my son caught my eye and flashed a big grin. Gone were the days of him peering up at me from a car seat; now, at 13, he expressed, “I’m really enjoying this time on the road with you, Mom.” Watching the sunrise together, I savored the golden age of parenting teens.
Much has been written about the challenges of guiding children through their teenage years. It’s no surprise that raising teens tests one’s patience to its limits. From the dramatic eye-rolls to slamming doors, and the awkward discussions about relationships and puberty, navigating these years can be a true trial of endurance. Over the past few years, I’ve found my patience stretched thin, especially during candid conversations about dating that seem to pop up at the dinner table. It’s exhausting—and don’t even get me started on the wine bill!
Yet, as I raise my tween and young teenager, I’ve discovered that this phase of parenting is becoming my favorite, tantrums and all. Contrary to the warnings from friends about the perils of parenting teens, I find that even though they may act like miniature adults at times, I genuinely enjoy the unique moments that come with watching them evolve into their own individuals.
As kids transition into their teenage years, the burdens of bedtime struggles and constant supervision lessen. Parents can finally take a breath. With teens capable of tying their own shoes, preparing sandwiches, and taking showers independently, life becomes more manageable. The day I realized my son could reach the top shelf was a monumental day for me—no more battling over who empties the dishwasher!
Of course, there are times when I wish for the days of footed pajamas and soft, wet baby curls after bath time. Seeing old baby photos on social media can make my heart ache for those simple moments of story time and toddler classes. But I quickly remind myself that my home is no longer filled with the clamor of tantrums and toys that jingle incessantly. Now, when I curl up on the couch to introduce my kids to classic movies from the ’80s, I find no longing for the days of Sesame Street.
Parenting teens is undeniably tough, and there are days when they will test your limits. However, there exists a sweet spot around ages 12 and 13 where time seems to stand still. They are too young for late-night parties but too old for playdates, making them more inclined to spend time with their parents, which they often find to be “cool.” I’ve learned so much about their lives simply by sharing a board game and ice cream. With more relaxed routines and years of honing my parenting skills, I find myself eager to engage with their daily stories. Realizing that their humor can make me laugh out loud, I understand that I genuinely appreciate the people they are becoming.
In those cherished moments—between my daughter’s dramatic sighs and my son’s playful complaints about screen time—I am relieved that the toddler years are behind us. Introducing them to art and culture and being able to share my true self with them has made this period of parenting truly enjoyable. Admittedly, I could do without the constant eye-rolling, but for the most part, I am savoring the moments when their personalities shine, giving me a glimpse of the adults they will soon become.
As we cruised down that highway, the sun brightened, painting the clouds in hues of pink. My daughter stirred awake just as a Bon Jovi song played on the radio. My son shouted, “Turn it up, Mom!” and together we sang along, appreciating the sweet sounds of their evolving voices—thankfully, they still enjoy ’80s music!
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Summary
Parenting teens can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding. Embracing the golden age of ages 12 and 13 allows for meaningful connections and shared experiences as children transition into young adulthood. Relishing these moments while navigating the ups and downs can bring immense joy to both parents and teens alike.