At some point, we need to take a step back and really evaluate the teenagers we’ve nurtured with care and commitment. It’s time to smile and say, “Get your act together.” This simple phrase not only guides our children toward becoming more responsible adults, but it also contributes to a better society.
My upbringing didn’t involve such direct communication. Thankfully, I met a wonderful partner when I was 18. After a couple of dates and numerous phone calls, he looked at me one evening over dinner and voiced something that many might have only thought. He said it playfully but with sincerity. I was on a roll about something he should have done—perhaps criticizing his voting choices. “Get your act together,” he said.
And I did. We’ve been together for nearly 27 years now, and that one phrase has helped me grow into a kinder, more understanding person. I let go of my unspoken expectations, learned to consider other perspectives, and even started holding doors open for others. Small gestures add up, and soon enough, we find ourselves either being considerate or acting selfishly. My transition to being considerate wasn’t instantaneous; my partner had to remind me a few more times, but eventually, I chose to move beyond the self-centered girl I once was.
In contrast, my siblings didn’t have anyone to challenge their attitudes. My sister still thinks that family vacations should cater to her every whim, like a three-hour opera with no breaks. My brother is with someone who merely nods along, leading him to believe it’s acceptable to demand an extravagant $45 birthday cake—because, apparently, the pricier desserts are more wholesome.
As former teenagers and current parents of teens, we know that this phase is when unreasonable behavior often kicks in. Between 14 and 18, previously compliant kids begin to think the world revolves around them. This shift can catch us off guard; I certainly wasn’t prepared. My sons would go to bed with hugs and kisses, only to wake up with attitudes, convinced that everything should revolve around their desires. They needed a gentle but firm reality check. I told them to get their act together.
It’s a challenge, but so were the toddler years when our instinct was to park them in front of cartoons all day. Together, we can tackle this! Here are some common teenage statements in our home that quickly needed a reality check:
- “I’m an adult!”
- “I’m not discussing it.”
- “Whatever.”
- “Bobby’s dad said it was fine.”
- “Do you enjoy your wine too much?”
- “The game only has three minutes left; I’ll eat dinner after.”
- “If you can’t see there’s no cereal left, just shake the boxes.”
- “Who scheduled Aunt Martha’s funeral during playoffs?”
- “I wasn’t trash-talking on the court, Dad. I was just being honest. I really am bringing the heat.”
- “You need to drive back to school and bring me my gray folder. Or would you rather I fail?”
- “While you’re up, can you pass me the ketchup, a napkin, more fries, and the remote?”
- “I’d like to finish my thought before you lecture me.”
Let’s unite as parents; we can’t blame anyone else if our kids grow up to be inconsiderate adults. Now is the time to stand tall and say, with both firmness and kindness, “Get your act together.” We’ll deliver it with love and humor, and both we and the world will be better for it. For additional insights, check out this post on couples’ fertility journeys or visit ACOG’s excellent resource on treating infertility for more guidance.
In summary, guiding our teenagers through their challenging years with clear expectations can help them grow into respectful adults. Using direct language, like “Get your act together,” can encourage positive changes in behavior and attitude.