As a parent, there are aspects of childhood that I now appreciate much more than I did when I was young. Take grilled cheese sandwiches, for instance. They weren’t my favorite back in the day, but now I can’t resist them. Fireflies, rainbows, and sandcastles also bring me joy—sometimes even more than my kids do. However, there are certain things I once loved as a child that I now dread, with the playground being at the top of that list.
I don’t dislike the playground entirely; I understand its importance as a place for kids to expend their energy without bouncing on the furniture or racing around the house. But my children have a knack for making it an exhausting experience. They want me to run around, play tag, push them on the swings, and slide down with them. When I mentioned the playground being a good outlet for their energy, I meant it as a chance for them to play while I relax with my iPhone and a latte from the sidelines. What’s with those parents who are rolling around and chasing their kids? Isn’t that what the other kids are for? I just don’t get it.
Given that playground visits are inevitable, I’ve established some rules to clarify my position, aiming to make our time there as enjoyable as possible:
- I will not push you on the swing indefinitely. If you want to swing, it’s time to learn how to pump your legs.
- I won’t be swinging from the monkey bars. I’m not a monkey, after all.
- The slides? No thanks. I worry about getting stuck halfway down.
- We are not playmates. At the playground, I have my friends and you have yours.
- Sandboxes are off-limits. Avoid them at all costs.
- Hide and seek outside the house is not fun for me, so don’t even think about suggesting it.
- No need to shout “LOOK AT ME!!!” every few seconds. I’m watching (mostly). If I miss a slide dismount, there will be others.
- Don’t ask me to join you on the see-saw. I don’t need a reminder of my weight.
- Please avoid any actions that could lead to an ER visit. If you do, we might not come back.
- If you claim to be bored, just know you’ll find home even more dull.
So, are you still eager to head to the playground, kiddos?
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Summary:
Navigating the playground can be challenging for parents who prefer to watch rather than participate. Establishing clear guidelines can help make these outings more enjoyable for everyone involved. Embrace the joy of childhood while setting boundaries that keep the experience manageable.