Parenting can be a challenge, especially when it comes to navigating the tumultuous years of adolescence. Here are eight strategies that will guarantee you earn the title of “Worst Parent” in your teen’s eyes.
- Ignore Their Interests: Make a point to never inquire about their friendships, social life, or daily experiences. Avoid engaging in conversations that require more than a simple nod or grunt; after all, who needs to know what’s going on in their world?
- Avoid Setting Boundaries: Forget about establishing any rules or limits. Whether it’s about curfews, sleepovers, or even body modifications, let your teen feel free to do whatever they want. Who needs structure when you can let them roam freely into chaos?
- Deny Them Unplugged Time: Encourage your teenager to entertain themselves without screens for at least an hour each day. Suggest they tap into their creativity or, heaven forbid, read a book. The ensuing panic over losing their devices for thirty minutes will surely be a sight to behold!
- Refrain From Assigning Chores: Let your teen live in a mess. By not asking them to handle their laundry or help with dishes, you’ll ensure they learn nothing about responsibility. After all, why bother teaching them life skills that will help them when they eventually leave for college?
- Skip Family Time: Make sure to avoid any semblance of family bonding. Family game nights or shared meals are so outdated! Let them spend their evenings isolated in their rooms, scrolling through social media instead.
- Steer Clear of Tough Conversations: Never discuss serious topics such as relationships, substance use, or personal beliefs. Avoid addressing anything that might make them feel uncomfortable or prompted to think critically about their choices.
- Don’t Attend Their Activities: Make a habit of not showing up to their events. You don’t even need to be front and center; just hiding in your car in the parking lot will do the trick. Your presence, however invisible, will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression.
- Offer No Help: If they ever ask for assistance with anything, respond with indifference. Clearly, you know nothing of relevance about teenage experiences, so just let them figure it all out on their own.
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In summary, if your goal is to be the worst parent imaginable, simply ignore your teen’s needs, avoid setting any rules, and refrain from showing interest in their lives. Following these steps will surely secure your place in the Hall of Infamy for Parenting.