Updated: August 21, 2023
Originally Published: April 23, 2011
After a decade of marriage, I’ve come to realize that my mother-in-law, Carol, is one of my greatest allies. She has a unique ability to communicate with my husband, Greg, when I need her to step in. Whether it’s answering my pressing questions about his quirky habits, like why he insists on leaving his shoes in front of the door or how the laundry basket always seems to be invisible to him, she has the insights I often crave.
Carol is a vibrant storyteller, enjoys a good glass of wine during Sunday dinners, and has a knack for persuading stores to accept returns despite strict policies. At her age, she can still dance the night away to blues music. While I cherish my friendship with her, it hasn’t always been a smooth ride. We’ve navigated some tricky waters, particularly during moments when she sided with Greg during disagreements. Let’s just say, connecting those dots was an eye-opener!
If you’re lucky enough to find yourself in a similar friendship with your MIL, here are eight essential rules to ensure a harmonious relationship:
- Avoid Discussing Intimate Matters: It’s best to steer clear of any discussions about your sex life. Trust me, hearing about your mother-in-law’s romantic escapades is not something you want to entertain. In her eyes, the grandchildren are products of immaculate conception.
- No Complaints About Your Children: Even if your kids are acting out, be cautious about venting to your MIL. She’s likely to respond with unsolicited advice or reminders of how wonderful your children are. Save the venting for your fellow moms.
- Refrain from Criticizing Your MIL: This should go without saying, but it’s crucial. Avoid negative comments about her—always.
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff When She Babysits: If Carol watches the kids and doesn’t follow your rules to the letter, take a deep breath. Remember, she’s probably doing it for free and feels entitled to spoil them a bit.
- Keep Grumbles About Your Husband to Yourself: If you find yourself complaining about Greg, be prepared for some pushback. MILs often have a protective instinct when it comes to their sons.
- Tread Lightly with Sibling Comments: No matter how much you may dislike your husband’s siblings, keep it to yourself. I once made a snarky comment about Greg’s brother, and I’m still hearing about it!
- Wine Etiquette: When it comes to pouring drinks, let her have the larger glass. It’s a matter of respect.
- Don’t Act Like the Favorite Daughter-in-Law: Even if you feel like you’ve claimed that title, be mindful not to flaunt it in front of other in-laws. Save the bonding moments for when you’re alone over a glass of wine and a Pinterest project.
You might think that being friends with your mother-in-law is a bit unconventional. We’ve all heard the horror stories, but if you have a MIL who is worth your time, embrace the relationship. The upside is that you gain a fantastic friend, and at the very least, you’ll gain some insights into the quirks of your spouse. For more on motherhood and fertility, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation. Additionally, if you’re seeking ways to boost fertility, you can explore boost fertility supplements for helpful tips. For a deeper understanding of family dynamics, visit Portrait of a Make-a-Mom Family.
In summary, forging a close friendship with your mother-in-law can be immensely rewarding, but it requires some delicate navigation. By adhering to these rules, you can enjoy a rich, fulfilling relationship while maintaining harmony.