Parenting can be a wild ride, and my personal approach can best be described as “Do Your Best and Feel Guilty About It.” When I first encountered the concept of sleep training, I thought it was a smart strategy—until I actually became a parent. Before my child arrived, I envisioned myself as a steadfast parent, impervious to the emotional cues of a whimpering baby. The reality? I quickly became the parent who crumbled upon hearing my little one wail, and the first time I let my infant cry for more than five minutes, I immediately scooped him up, whispering apologies in his ear.
I had friends who managed to tuck their kids into bed before the evening TV shows began, giving themselves hours of free time each night. I envied their seemingly perfect routines and often felt like I was failing in comparison. My sleep-deprived state made it hard to mask my envy when they spoke of their “nap schedules” at the park. During those early days, every story about someone else’s child sleeping or eating well felt like a personal jab.
Cooking homemade baby food was another ambition that quickly faded. While my first child would eat it fresh, he turned his nose up at anything that had been frozen—a necessity given my full-time job. I became a bit of a pretender about it. When another mother at the park lamented about fruit pouches being “junk food,” I simply nodded along, not entirely admitting my reality.
My children run around the house until 9:30 or 10:00 PM every night, fueled by a diet of spaghetti, broccoli, eggs, peas, hot dogs, and PB&J sandwiches. I’ve never crafted an adorable school lunch, I don’t volunteer at my son’s preschool, and I’ve got no baby book—just a collection of keepsakes crammed into a plastic bag. My four-year-old knows the theme songs to every show on Nick Jr. and can navigate the wi-fi on my phone to find his favorite YouTube videos. My two-year-old daughter has a penchant for exclamations like “no way,” “aww man!” and “Jesus Christ!”
Yet, I remind myself that I’m doing my best. While my best might be someone else’s worst, that’s okay. For a long time, I felt as though I was parenting on autopilot, watching all my pre-kid plans slip away. I found myself frequently comparing my parenting style to others and feeling down about it. But my children are happy, they are loved, and that is what truly counts.
It took me four years to embrace my parenting philosophy of ‘Do Your Best and Feel Guilty About It.’ I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to carry that guilt. Sure, I might feel like I could do better in certain areas—like encouraging them to try new foods, creating a baby book, or perhaps choosing my words more carefully—but when I look in the mirror and ask myself if I’m a good parent, I don’t hesitate to say yes.
At the end of the day, that affirmation is what matters most.
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Summary
Parenting can often feel overwhelming, and comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The author reflects on their own parenting journey, recognizing that while they may not fit the traditional mold, their love and commitment to their children are what truly matter. Through acceptance of their unique approach, they’ve learned to embrace their parenting style and focus on the happiness of their family.