How to Raise Kids Without Words

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Did you know that men average around 7,000 words daily, while women clock in at about 20,000? Mothers, however, are in a league of their own, apparently uttering around 2,846,325 phrases a day—many of which tend to be the same tired directives repeated ad nauseam: “Put your backpack away,” “Pick up your shoes,” “Brush your teeth,” and so on.

Let’s be honest: I’m worn out from talking, and I suspect my children might feel the same way about listening. So, I’ve decided to embark on a Word Strike and focus instead on expressing myself through facial cues.

While some may argue that the pen is mightier than the sword, I contend that a well-timed eyebrow raise, a piercing stare, or a tight-lipped smile can convey much more.

Facial Expression A: The “Really?” Look

This expression is perfect for those moments when you’re on the brink of losing your cool after repeating yourself yet again. It silently communicates, “If I have to remind you one more time, I might just explode.”

Real World Scenarios:

  1. You’ve asked your kid to put away their shoes multiple times, yet they still clutter the living room floor.
  2. Despite reminders to feed the dog, the bowl remains empty.
  3. Your child insists they’ve brushed their teeth, but the evidence suggests otherwise—a condition I like to dub “Gummy Teeth.”

Facial Expression B: The “Does it look like I find you funny?” Look

This look can serve various purposes, signaling everything from “Try that again, and you’ll regret it” to “You’re treading on thin ice.”

Real World Scenarios:

  1. Your child is making jokes about bodily functions, expecting laughter.
  2. A sibling rivalry escalates, and you know someone is about to cross a line.
  3. Your children’s antics in public are embarrassing, and you’re mentally preparing for a stern conversation.

Facial Expression C: The “Do you really want to go there?” Look

This expression is particularly effective with tweens or any child prone to arguing. It’s all in the head tilt and the raised brow.

Real World Scenarios:

  1. Any time you speak, and they respond with a sarcastic comeback.

Facial Expression D: The “Oh my gosh, it’s a miracle!” Look

This rare expression is reserved for those exceptional moments when you witness your child actually following a request without fuss.

Real World Scenarios:

  1. Your child puts their shoes away without prompting.
  2. They laugh at your joke instead of rolling their eyes.
  3. They independently accomplish a task you usually have to nag them about.

Ultimately, the “Oh my gosh, it’s a miracle!” look is the rarest of them all.

So, why not give your voice a break this weekend? Embrace the power of facial expressions; after all, who needs words when you can effectively communicate with a raised brow, a long glare, or a confident smirk?

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Summary:

This article humorously explores the idea of parenting without excessive dialogue, focusing instead on the power of facial expressions. By using non-verbal communication, parents can convey their messages effectively while giving their vocal cords a much-needed rest.