As a parent, I once had a whimsical vision of coloring Easter eggs with my future children, all dressed in pristine white linen, gently dipping fresh eggs into natural dyes. I even dreamed of having chickens in the backyard! However, after experiencing this chaotic tradition firsthand, I now fully appreciate why my own mother opted for plastic eggs. Clearly, the concept of egg dyeing was never intended for families with little ones.
If you’re planning to dye eggs this Easter, heed my advice from someone who has learned the hard way: do it outside. Ideally, find a remote field, ensure everyone is dressed for mess (or preferably, naked), and stock up on paper towels—and maybe even some calming remedies. Accept that most of your eggs will end up cracked, none will resemble those Pinterest-perfect creations, and instead of delightful pastels, expect a lot of murky, greyish hues.
Why the disconnect? Kids have a completely different perspective on egg dyeing. Here are the true thoughts running through their minds:
- First and foremost – eggs make awesome projectiles.
- If this dye looks good on eggs, just imagine how fabulous it’ll look in my hair, on my clothes, and on the walls. Mommy’s dining room chairs could really use my artistic touch!
- Ewww, Mommy! These eggs smell like farts! Gag, cough, gag.
- Wait, the last light blue egg I saw had chocolate inside. Let me crack this open! Where’s the chocolate, Mommy? WAAHHHH!!!
- Can I smash this egg on my brother’s head? Like, really hard?
- So red and yellow make orange. But what happens when I mix all these colors? Why do my eggs look like they belong in a Halloween decoration? The world is ending! My eggs are ugly!
- I despise hardboiled eggs! Please tell me the Easter Bunny isn’t bringing me these in my basket! I’ve been a good kid! (Cue tears).
- Wow, all these colors look tasty! I bet the red one is cherry-flavored. Tastes it ACCCKKK! IT TASTES LIKE VINEGAR! GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH!
- Eighteen eggs and six cups of dye equal three minutes of fun. Now what? Can I have the iPad? Watching people open toy boxes is way more exciting than eggs!
- Jumping in muddy puddles is fun, but splashing in rainbow puddles inside the house sounds even better! I’m pouring these colorful liquids everywhere! This is the best day ever!
Happy Easter to all!
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In summary, dyeing Easter eggs is a chaotic yet memorable experience for both parents and children. Embrace the mess, enjoy the laughter, and don’t forget to capture those moments!