While my usual focus is on parenting strategies—largely shaped by years of studying child development and engaging with kids—there’s a personal layer to my experience. You see, I’m married to a musician, and that comes with its own unique challenges and rewards.
I fell in love with Jake not just for his talent but for the passion he pours into his work. However, loving him means embracing the fact that his career dominates his life. Whether he’s tucked away in a recording studio in Nashville or on the road with a major rock artist (who I’ll keep nameless for privacy), his schedule is anything but stable. Marrying a musician often feels like a form of polygamy, as they are perpetually wedded to their careers. Juggling life with two kids while he tours for months at a time isn’t easy.
To cope, I developed simple parenting strategies long before I started my blog. When Jake was off performing, I was the one managing our household and playing both roles as mom and dad. Despite what others might think, I often feel overwhelmed. I’m the kind of person who needs a little make-up to face the day and a lot of caffeine to keep going. Thank goodness for my trusty single-cup coffee maker—without it, I’d be lost.
Debunking Stereotypes About “Rock Star Wives”
Now, let’s debunk some stereotypes about “rock star wives”—and I’m not talking about those over-the-top figures you see on reality TV.
- The Awkward Introductions: Making new friends is something I genuinely enjoy; I’ve been fortunate to connect with wonderful women over the years. However, the initial getting-to-know-you conversations can be daunting. When asked about Jake’s profession, I often get one of two reactions: excitement about my “exciting life” or confusion about what he actually does. Explaining his job involves delving into recording studios, the ins and outs of tours, and the complexities of the music industry—topics that can leave even me stumped. Sometimes I almost wish I could just say he’s an accountant to avoid the long Q&A session.
- No Touring for Me: It’s surprising how many people assume I join him on tour. With two little ones at home, that’s far from feasible! A tour bus—especially the kind designed for successful artists—is cramped and chaotic. After a brief stint on the road with him, I realized how unsuitable it was for kids. Let’s just say, it’s not the glamorous lifestyle many imagine.
- Nighttime Worries: I run a tight ship at home, sticking to a strict schedule for the kids. While our days might flow smoothly, the nights can be a different story. As the house quiets down, anxiety sets in. What if something happens to me or to Jake while he’s away? It gets lonely, and I’ve learned to lean on friends who drop by with wine and comfort. Even though I enjoy reading, I sometimes wish I had started this blogging journey sooner to fill those quiet hours.
- Mixed Feelings About Events: Watching Jake perform is a joy I never tire of. But the after-parties? Not so much. While it’s fun to dress up and be part of the scene, the reality of crowded bars filled with strangers can be exhausting. I find myself counting down the minutes until I can return home for some much-needed rest.
- Guilt Gifts Are Nice: Let’s be honest—who doesn’t enjoy a little surprise gift from time to time? When Jake returns after a long tour with something special, it definitely softens the blow of his absence. The kids and I might not appreciate all his rule-bending attempts to make up for lost time, but we definitely love the perks that come along with it, like indulging in designer jeans while he’s away.
- Love Endures: I completely understand the complaints about partners who aren’t present enough or help around the house. However, my perspective has shifted after enduring a year of Jake’s touring. There were moments I would have traded anything for a regular husband, even one who forgets to put down the toilet seat. But I genuinely love Jake, and I don’t harbor resentment. I miss him when he’s gone, but when he’s home, he’s an incredible husband and a devoted father. After 11 years, we still cherish our quiet dinners together.
So, there you have it—a glimpse into the life of an ordinary woman married to a musician, blessed with two kids, and compelled to share her story. Yes, I would choose this life all over again. And if I could offer one piece of advice? Consider marrying a metrosexual; they tend to be great cooks, tidy up without prompting, and gift-giving becomes a delightful experience.
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In summary, my life isn’t glamorous; it’s filled with challenges and joys that many can relate to. I embrace the chaos and would not trade it for anything.