In a recent confessional post, someone suggested I act like I have parenting all figured out. I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. I’ve never claimed to be an expert in this field; in fact, the more I parent, the more I realize how little I truly know. I often find myself making a mental checklist of everything I need to address with my kids in their therapy sessions. The last thing I would ever label myself is a parenting authority.
My Nightly Routine
Take my nightly routine, for example. I joke about the chaotic game of musical beds we engage in each night, but the truth is far less amusing. My husband and I are exhausted from this unintentional family bed situation I’ve unwittingly created.
How Did We End Up Here?
Here’s a quick look back… When Mia was an infant, I felt immense guilt over my inability to breastfeed her, which led to me making her sleep on my chest to foster a sense of closeness. I was convinced that without this, we’d struggle to bond. (Thanks to all those breastfeeding advocates, mission accomplished!) The early years with her were challenging. She would cry for hours in her crib, only finding solace if someone stayed with her. Thankfully, she eventually grew out of it, and for a blissful period, she slept soundly in her own room. But then we moved into this house, and her bedroom is on the third floor, far away from the rest of us. Despite the room being a dream for most little girls, it’s a nightmare for Mia—she’s petrified of being up there alone. We’ve tried everything: nightlights, comforting toys, soothing music. Nothing seems to work, and she adamantly insists on sleeping on the couch in our room. I’m genuinely at a loss.
Jake, our second child, initially excelled at sleeping. Learning from Mia’s struggles, we put him in his crib at three months, and he would fall asleep with just a few gentle pats on his back. It was a dream come true. However, after a tough tonsillectomy at two years old that threw him off his game, he ended up in our room for what was supposed to be a few weeks. Those weeks turned into months, and our move only exacerbated the situation. I can count on one hand how many times he’s slept in his own space since then. He even jokingly refers to me as his roommate!
As for Leo, he’ll stay in his room, but only if I’m present when he drifts off. The moment he wakes, he bolts to find me. It’s gotten out of hand.
Seeking Advice
So here I am, reaching out to you, fellow “experts” in parenting: What can I do to rectify this situation? Have I created lasting issues? I genuinely dislike hearing them cry, but am I left with no choice? I’ve exhausted all other options, and I’m completely stumped.
Your insights would be invaluable. I’m all ears.
Additional Resources
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Summary
Navigating parenting challenges can often feel overwhelming, as illustrated by one mother’s struggle with her children’s sleeping habits. Despite her efforts, she finds herself in a situation where her kids are reluctant to sleep alone, raising questions about the long-term effects of her parenting choices. Seeking advice from fellow parents, she opens the floor to suggestions while reflecting on her journey.