The other evening, my nine-year-old casually stated, “I asked Dad how babies are made, but he said you’d be mad if he told me.” Honestly, I was at a loss for how to respond. (For the record, I would have gladly taken one for the team to avoid this discussion.)
“First of all, I wouldn’t be mad at him…” I began, trying to steer the conversation in a better direction. Sure, I had been dreading this moment (is that wrong?), but avoiding it wasn’t an option. My kids often claimed I was the “coolest mom” and that they could talk to me about anything. I was fairly confident I could discuss the terms “penis” and “vagina” without bursting into laughter.
“What do you already know about how babies are made?” I asked, hoping to gauge how much misinformation I had to correct.
She replied, “I know there’s a mommy seed and a daddy seed, but I don’t know how they come together.” The look of confusion on her face was heartbreaking.
I hugged her tightly. “Okay, here’s the deal: The mommy seed is inside her tummy, and the daddy seed is inside him. When they decide to have a baby, the daddy puts his seed into the mommy, and that’s how a baby is made.”
I thought I had nailed it! But her face was still puzzled. “But how does the daddy seed get to the mommy seed?”
“Ah, that part.” Just say it: “The penis.”
Her expression turned horrified. “What about the penis?”
“The daddy’s seed comes out of his penis.”
“And goes where?”
You got this, I reminded myself. “The daddy puts his penis inside the mommy’s vagina so the two seeds can meet.”
She looked genuinely horrified, clutching her stomach as if she might be sick. “But… why?”
“That’s just how it works,” I explained. “When you think about it, it’s a strange system, right?”
She nodded rapidly, her head bobbing like a toy on a spring.
“How long does the penis have to stay there?” she asked, her worry evident.
“Not long,” I assured her, trying to ease her concern.
“I don’t want to do that,” she said, still gripping her tiny waist.
“Then you don’t have to,” I reassured her.
Surprisingly, she didn’t ask if it hurt or seem to connect that her dad and I had obviously done this at least a couple of times. She also didn’t inquire about the implications of an unexpected encounter. All things considered, I deemed this conversation a success. Score one for mom!
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, discussing the intricacies of reproduction with children can be daunting, but with the right approach, it can lead to meaningful conversations. Transparency and openness are key, and it’s crucial to address their questions directly while ensuring they feel comfortable.