It’s official. Besides being a human snack dispenser, my tweens consider me completely uncool. I had braced myself for this inevitable phase, having heard the warnings from other parents, but I secretly hoped I might escape it. Yet, nothing truly prepares you for the moment your kids start to feel embarrassed by you.
I fondly recall the days when my children would cling to me, believing only I could calm their worries. Those times are long gone. Now, a simple text from a friend will do the trick just fine.
Whenever I have to step foot into their school—a calamity in their eyes—I’m met with a strict set of rules:
- Don’t talk to anyone.
- Avoid making eye contact.
- Don’t engage with my teacher.
- No hugs or kisses, please.
- Do not introduce yourself to my classmates.
- Absolutely no late lunches or chats with my friends.
- And definitely don’t converse with other parents.
Oh, how things have changed! It used to be:
- Can you volunteer in my class every day?
- Will you bring in treats for my classmates?
- Let’s lead the math group together!
- Can you come on all my field trips?
- Would you bring my kittens for show-and-tell?
- Please give me hugs and kisses when you drop me off.
- Can you join me for lunch?
Ah, the glory days of being the beloved mom!
I’ll admit, I might be guilty of all the “DON’Ts.” I’m the mom who enthusiastically waves and shouts, “I love you!” from the car as I drop them off. I’m the one blasting Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” a tad too loudly when picking them up. I’m the mom who shows up at school unannounced just to catch a glimpse of them in class. I’m also the one who rushes to greet them, dressed in old yoga pants and a messy bun.
It became painfully clear just how much I embarrassed them when I started noticing eye rolls, murmurs, and their desperate attempts to avoid eye contact. The most heartbreaking moment was when my son pretended not to know me, forcing his teacher to ask who I was.
I also recognize that my choice of conversation can be less than ideal in public. For instance, while waiting for my daughter at her school orientation, I casually mentioned how the salon lady suggested I start waxing my arm hair. I could see my daughter subtly inching away, her body language screaming, “Mom, please don’t talk about your arm hair at school!” Oops. Perhaps their concerns are valid, but come on… I’m their mother! They should be leaping into my arms for hugs, regardless of their age, right? Wrong. What a letdown.
Still, I remain hopeful that this phase will pass and they will eventually return to their senses.
In a rare moment of redemption, my son surprised me with a sweet kiss on the cheek as he said goodbye this morning—right in front of the school! Additionally, my daughter even hugged me as she got out of the car. YES! Perhaps there’s hope for this mom with the arm hair after all.
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Summary
As my children enter their tween years, they’ve begun to experience the inevitable embarrassment that comes with having a parent. I reminisce about the days when I was their hero, but now I’m met with a list of “DON’Ts” whenever I step into their school. Yet, amidst the awkwardness, there are still glimmers of affection that give me hope for the future.