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If Assembly Instructions Were Like Parenting Tips
by Jenna Mitchell
Updated: May 19, 2017
Originally Published: Sep. 14, 2010
Raising a child can feel overwhelmingly daunting. It’s akin to stepping into a corporate office on your first day and being informed that you are now the CEO (and also the janitor—because kids create chaos). You’re handed the reins to something incredibly significant with little to no experience, and the expectation is to not mess it up.
It’s perfectly natural to feel baffled by the intricacies of parenthood at various stages along the way. In fact, many of us grapple with feelings of inadequacy, particularly in this Golden Age of Information where we have access to countless resources online and in libraries, yet still struggle to find clarity.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on whether all this parenting advice truly serves us. Between expert books, must-reads from blogs, and your mother-in-law’s “foolproof” strategies, it can be challenging to discern what to follow. What if assembling a piece of furniture were as convoluted as navigating parenting advice? It might sound something like this:
“Congratulations on acquiring your stunning new table! It should resemble the image on the box, though every model varies, so don’t compare it to your neighbor’s recent purchase.
While you might want to place it in your kitchen, your dining room could be a more fitting option, and some experts warn against a bedroom installation since you might stub your toe. If you choose the bedroom, ensure you observe proper safety measures.
Your table may not include every part depicted here. If you’re missing components, take a moment to appreciate how that makes your table special and unique. You might also notice various natural markings, discolorations, or minor imperfections due to the manufacturing process. Embrace these character traits—they contribute to your table’s charm, and it should still blend seamlessly with your home decor, likely.
Now, attach tab A to slot B. In some versions, this may cause damage; if so, feel free to improvise. Insert screw (X) into hole (Y), though your model might require a different screw size. Some users have reported success with a 9-gauge finishing nail (not provided), but we can’t officially endorse this method.
Your table is crafted from high-quality wood and demands regular attention to remain in optimal condition. Clean it regularly, but not excessively, to preserve its natural oils. Tighten screws as needed, but be wary of overtightening, which may lead to cracks.
Avoid placing hot or wet items on its surface, even though it’s a table, since its reaction is unpredictable. Apply wood conditioner, but test several products first; some might strip the finish. If stripping occurs, you might have to sand, prime, re-stain, and lacquer (only water-based). Alternatively, consider hiring a professional for repairs, but choose wisely, as expertise varies greatly.
With adequate care, your table could become a treasured heirloom. However, warping, sagging, or breakage can occur unexpectedly—if that happens, we accept no responsibility. Good luck!”
See how confusing this could be? If everything was even half as perplexing as parenting, we’d all be in tears. Deciding which well-intentioned advice to follow can often be more challenging than trusting our own instincts. Believe it or not, we’re far more capable than we assume.
Moreover, mistakes can lead to unexpected benefits. If you set out to build a table and end up with a bookshelf, you’ve still created something valuable. There’s always room in the world for bookshelves too.
This article was initially published on Sep. 14, 2010.
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Summary:
Parenting can feel like a daunting task, comparable to being thrown into a CEO role on your first day at a new job. With overwhelming advice available, it is easy to feel confused and inadequate. This article humorously illustrates how complicated parenting advice can be by comparing it to assembling furniture. Ultimately, trusting our instincts and embracing imperfections can lead to unique and valuable outcomes.