Before I embraced motherhood, I was convinced that I was destined to excel in this role. I envisioned a harmonious first year filled with effortless moments of parenting bliss. I pictured myself strolling through the city, my baby securely snuggled against me, and believed that breastfeeding would magically trim my waistline, revealing my ideal figure.
Reality, however, had other plans. My attempts at baby-wearing were comically misguided. The carrier I chose transformed me into a linebacker, rather than the nurturing goddess I imagined. And as for breastfeeding? It did nothing to boost my metabolism, even with the endless feedings every three hours.
The Public Frenzy
Then there was the public. Oh, the public—why didn’t anyone prepare me for this? No one warned me that people would completely lose their sense of decorum upon seeing a newborn. I had no idea that a tiny baby could send adults into a frenzy.
My first child was born in November, just as one of Brooklyn’s worst snowstorms hit. The city was frozen under a blanket of snow, and the mayor was on vacation instead of clearing the streets. Taking my baby out in a Baby Bjorn was a terrifying thought; I feared slipping on black ice and injuring my precious infant. Plus, winter germs were everywhere, and I had no intention of navigating the subway system. My little one ended up being a shut-in for his first season—sorry, kiddo.
Paranoia and Public Interactions
Being confined at home turned me into a bit of a recluse, and having a newborn amplified my paranoia. To make matters worse, I soon discovered the bizarre obsession some people have with putting their hands in babies’ mouths. Seriously, why would anyone think it’s a good idea to stick their fingers or even an entire hand into a newborn’s mouth?
Imagine someone saying, “Oh, look at this adorable baby! I just got off the subway, but I’m sure it’s fine to share my germs!” The thought process simply eludes me. And then there are social gatherings where everyone feels entitled to hold your baby. “Relax! Let me take care of him while you enjoy a drink!” they say, as they proceed to munch on your newborn’s hand. Just what every parent wants to witness while trying to unwind with a glass of wine!
A Warning to Expectant Mothers
To expectant mothers out there, perhaps you will achieve the ideal parenting experience I dreamed of. But heed this warning: be prepared for people to invade your baby’s personal space with their unclean hands.
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Conclusion
In summary, motherhood often unfolds in unexpected ways, filled with challenges and surprises, particularly when it comes to navigating public interactions with your newborn. Staying vigilant about your baby’s well-being while managing societal quirks is essential for new parents.