“Wait, you’re expecting?”
I braced myself for the inevitable questions. I had come to this event to escape the daily grind, enjoy a meal without cooking, and let my energetic toddler bounce around until he wore himself out. With my husband deployed just two weeks prior, I thought attending the Deployed Spouses Dinner would provide a much-needed break. My routine was transforming into a series of frozen dinners and rushed meals, and I longed for a moment of peace.
“Yes, I’m actually pregnant—16 weeks along,” I replied to the curious stranger.
“Oh, I’m 20 weeks! Do you know the baby’s gender?”
“I found out last Saturday that I’m having a boy,” I said, noting her surprise when she learned our husbands had both left on the same day.
“Wow, your husband just missed the gender reveal?”
“It’s okay; he was able to join me via Skype for part of the appointment,” I reassured her.
“What’s your due date?” she asked eagerly.
“April 6, which is also my birthday, so we might share the day.”
Her expression shifted as she realized, “Oh no! Your husband will miss the birth!”
“Well, it’s not his baby, so it’s fine…”
Her face momentarily registered shock, but she quickly regained her composure. I felt the need to clarify, “But he knows it’s not his child!”
This time, the look of disgust was harder for her to hide. Disappointing her further, I explained my role as a surrogate. My cousin had tragically lost her uterus during a previous pregnancy, and after the heartbreak of losing her first child, she and her husband needed a surrogate to create their family. That’s where I stepped in.
My husband had no qualms about my pregnancy, which technically involved another couple. He was not only supportive but also present during the procedure. He had accepted early on that he would miss the birth, but that never altered our relationship. In fact, it often led to interesting conversations with new acquaintances.
During pregnancy, people are naturally curious about due dates, gender, and all the intimate details. When they discover your spouse is deployed, sympathy usually follows, creating a narrative of solitary struggle. Yet, they are often unprepared for the revelation: “The baby isn’t his, but that’s completely okay.”
And here’s the truth: being a surrogate has been nothing short of transformative.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this excellent resource and learn about the process in detail. If you’re curious about at-home insemination options, visit this informative article that outlines personal experiences. Looking for a home insemination kit? You can find one here to assist with your journey.
In summary, the experience of being a surrogate has reshaped my life in ways I never anticipated. While the conversations may sometimes be awkward, they open doors to deeper understanding and connection.