By: Sarah Johnson
Updated: Feb. 20, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 14, 2010
As a mother, my love for my children is as intense as a celebrity’s obsession with the limelight. However, there are moments when I wish I could temporarily send them away, like playful little nuisances. Here are five instances when I’d rather not have my kids around.
1. During the Night
Hey, little one, those noises you hear—like raccoons rummaging through trash or an owl hunting—are reminders that it’s time for sleep. If you’re feeling scared or sad, I understand; I’m not made of stone. You can come for cuddles and comfort. But if you’re awake at 3 a.m. begging for snacks because you didn’t finish dinner or asking for another story because of an itchy bug bite? No thanks, kiddo.
2. When They’re a Mess
If you’re covered in anything remotely unpleasant—be it pee, food, paint, or worse—please step outside and wait by the garden hose. I’d need a moment to compose myself before diving into cleanup mode. Even if you looked like a walking art project, I’d still need time to gather my thoughts.
3. Too Early in the Morning
Waking me up before dawn earns you the “disappointed parent” look. Just because the sun shines through our poorly designed windows doesn’t mean you need to jump on my bed, startling me before my coffee. Next time, how about bringing breakfast with you?
4. During Intimate Moments
Unless we’re part of some unconventional clan, it’s quite embarrassing when you float into the bedroom to inquire why your parents are so close. Extra points for asking if Daddy is hurting Mommy. Let’s just agree that any activities involving parents and intimacy should be off-limits for little ears. Please exit the room slowly and erase this from your memory.
5. In the Bathroom
No matter what, you seem to follow me into the bathroom. You loudly announce whether I’m doing my business, as if that’s any of your concern. This is not a family meeting; it’s called a potty break. I didn’t sign up for a bathroom audience, thank you very much.
It’s perfectly natural for parents to desire a little solitude from their kids in certain situations, even if only for a moment. Yet, before you know it, you’ll miss their presence because, ultimately, kids have a way of being utterly charming.
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Summary
Parents often find themselves wishing for a moment of peace from their children in specific scenarios, such as late-night awakenings, messy situations, early mornings, intimate moments, and bathroom breaks. These fleeting desires remind us that, despite our love, sometimes solitude is a welcome reprieve.