It’s a typical Monday morning. My partner is off to work, and I’m lounging in my pajamas at 9 a.m., contemplating a pool day with my two-year-old. Suddenly, my phone buzzes with a reminder: “Family Smile Dentistry is excited for your daughter’s 10:30 appointment today!”
Oh no! Despite numerous texts, a phone call, and even a postcard from just down the street, I completely forgot about the checkup. I feel like Kevin McCallister from Home Alone, racing against the clock. Instead of festive music, I’m shouting mild expletives as my toddler mimics me.
We have less than an hour to shower, dress, and get out the door. I quickly hand my daughter the iPad for distraction, toss in a couple of Little Critter and Berenstain Bears books about dental visits into my bag, and attempt to make myself somewhat presentable.
After a hasty shower, I realize my child has no clean clothes that are fit for public viewing. The only options are her Christmas dress, a cowboy costume, or a Lilly Pulitzer dress from Target that I may have had a minor altercation over. The Pulitzer dress it is!
Just as I’m about to leave, I panic—I forgot to brush my daughter’s teeth! It’s a dilemma: do I risk being late to ensure her teeth look decent, or do I arrive on time and let her smile reflect a diet of sweets? I choose a middle ground and allow her to suck toothpaste off a toothbrush while I drive to Family Smile Dentistry.
Of course, we end up late. Murphy’s Law kicks in—my garage won’t close, a slow pedestrian crosses my path, and I find myself honking at two drivers who are still glued to their phones. Thankfully, the receptionist tells me, “No worries! The dentist is running behind. Please take a seat in the waiting area.”
My daughter bolts for the waiting room, which is a paradise for kids: stacks of books, two TVs broadcasting separate shows, a train table, and buckets of toys. To me, it looks like a chaotic mess of torn books and potential germs. But off she goes, eager to claim her territory.
Then I spot the reason for the delay: a mother storms out, berating the dentist for using fluoride toothpaste, accusing them of poisoning her child. Meanwhile, her son is pulling at her sleeve, begging for a trip to McDonald’s.
Before long, we’re called back. The dental assistant, cheerful and upbeat, explains that they need to take X-rays. My daughter hops into the chair, but once she sees the equipment, panic sets in, and she starts to cry. I step in to help, holding her mouth open to facilitate the process.
After a struggle, we manage to get the X-rays done, but chaos ensues during the cleaning. My toddler squirms and, inevitably, vomits all over. The assistant keeps trying to comfort her with toys and goodie bags, but nothing works.
Finally, the dentist arrives and reassures me that her teeth are fine. Meanwhile, my daughter keeps chanting “Mickey Mouse,” and I discover there’s a cartoon playing above her head to distract kids. I can’t believe we could’ve used that earlier!
After the appointment, the dentist reminds me that my daughter can’t eat or drink for 30 minutes post-cleaning, which triggers an immediate meltdown from my little one. As we leave, the receptionist cheerfully says, “See you in six months!”
This experience has been nothing short of a wild ride, akin to a scene from Groundhog Day, where I find myself replaying the same chaotic episode over and over again.
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In summary, navigating a trip to the dentist with a toddler can feel like a whirlwind. Between last-minute preparations, unexpected chaos, and the challenge of keeping a child calm, it’s an experience that leaves you feeling both frazzled and relieved when it’s over.