Updated: March 25, 2017
Originally Published: June 16, 2010
Ah, unsolicited parenting advice—it’s almost a rite of passage for all new parents. People have opinions on everything, from the perfect stroller to the right extracurricular activities for your child. After a few years in the parenting trenches, you’ll find that much of this advice is easy to overlook. Here are 13 pieces of advice that are often more annoying than helpful.
- You absolutely must have a swing, bouncy seat, or high-tech baby gadget. Sure, one of these items might help, but you won’t know which one until it’s 4 a.m. and you’re frantically searching for something to calm your wailing newborn.
- Let them cry it out. We tried this method, and while it was a relatively smooth experience then, my son now wakes me up with his enthusiastic sleep-talk. Last night, he yelled “WHOA, WHOA, WHOA” as if he were a general in a war movie. Is there a technique for “whoa-ing it out”?
- Enforce screen time limits. Sure, that sounds great until your toddler decides to toss blocks at your feet while you’re trying to shower. Given that scenario, I’ll choose screen time over a mini-block war any day.
- Encourage independent play. If I suggest that, my kids will usually respond with a creative request for Scotch tape, which leads to them taping themselves to the kitchen gate while moaning dramatically.
- Take turns with nighttime duties. While this advice sounds reasonable, remember that the kids will wake up at 7:30 a.m. on his day and 4:41 a.m. on mine. Plus, I have the superhuman ability to wake up at the slightest sound, while my husband can sleep through an earthquake.
- Establish a bedtime routine. We attempted this but ended up extending bedtime by an hour and a half. Now it’s more like, “put child in bed, kiss, and a quick pat.” I could definitely use a bedtime routine myself—maybe a cocktail and some reality TV before collapsing into bed.
- Be flexible with schedules. I can certainly do that—if you want to come over and handle the tantrums when the dinner isn’t plated just right. It’s not as simple as you think!
- Teach your son to toughen up. No way! If you wouldn’t say it to a daughter, don’t say it to a son.
- Your child needs that pricey preschool. What they really need is to dig in the dirt with some yogurt containers. Sure, a good caregiver and social interactions are important, but not at the price of a small fortune.
- Your baby should wear a hat. How about you just walk behind me while I juggle the baby and everything else?
- You should stay home with your kids. It sounds wonderful, but bills have a way of complicating that dream. If I didn’t work, people would be saying, “Hey, she should be feeding those kids!”
- You need to get back to work. Have you ever tried to find affordable and quality childcare? It’s a daunting task that will test your patience and your bank account.
- You should just… do something. Every parent is just trying their best under their circumstances. Yes, cooking from scratch and reading daily is ideal, but sometimes you just need to cut yourself some slack. And when it’s your turn to sleep in? Don’t forget the earplugs!
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In summary, while everyone has their opinions on parenting, most of the advice you receive can be ignored. Parents are doing the best they can, and it’s essential to prioritize what truly works for your family.