As a parent, I often find myself attempting to implement ideas that seem brilliant in principle, only to realize they fall flat when put into practice. One such endeavor has been getting my children to use the proper anatomical terms for their body parts. My four-year-old refers to his penis as a “pee-pee,” which is also the term my two-year-old has adopted for her vagina.
I’ll admit, I am quite impressionable as a parent. When another mom shares her parenting approach—like only allowing her child to drink a specific amount of juice daily—I immediately feel compelled to follow suit. So, when my kids ask for a juice box, I often buckle, and they end up consuming way more than the recommended limit. Clearly, I’m not exactly winning any parenting awards here.
In a similar vein, I once read a thoughtful piece by a mother who insisted on teaching her children the correct names for their body parts. “What a genius!” I thought. I have no qualms about using the words “penis” and “vagina,” so I decided I wouldn’t resort to silly nicknames. I even read an article suggesting that using euphemisms could instill body shame in children. I was sold—after all, I strive to be a body-positive parent.
Dr. Harris supports this notion, stating: “Using accurate terminology is crucial. When children learn the correct names for their body parts, they understand that they can approach you with any questions about sensitive topics, laying the foundation for deeper discussions in the future.”
But then I began to wonder, could I be jeopardizing my relationship with my son by calling his penis a “pee-pee”? The months went by, and I found myself still using the term. Determined to change this, I sat him down and explained, “Your ‘pee-pee’ is called a ‘penis,’ okay?” Days later, I tested him with a quiz, only to be met with a blank stare, as if he were thinking, “What are you talking about, Mom?”
It dawned on me that we simply don’t discuss these terms often enough for it to matter. While I recognize the importance of children being able to identify their body parts—especially in cases of potential abuse—I have had numerous conversations with my son about boundaries. He reassures me, “Yes, Mommy, I know. No one is allowed to touch my pee-pee but me.”
So, we may not use anatomically correct terms in our home, but does it really matter? In a household where a bottle is a “ba-ba,” a pacifier is a “binky,” and Grandma is affectionately called “Ya-Ya,” I think it’s okay if “penis” is just another one of those terms we soften with affection.
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In summary, while I might not be using the correct anatomical terms, I’m still fostering an open and trusting environment for my children. After all, parenting is a journey filled with learning experiences.