Dear Ex-Husband,
Yesterday, as I spotted you in your driveway during our usual pickup time, a thought struck me—it’s been nearly two years since I’ve seen you in the nude. I realize my expression likely reflected a sense of relief, and I apologize for saying I was preoccupied with the dog. Truth be told, I was distracted by your anatomy.
In embracing honesty, which was often elusive during our marriage, there are a few things I feel compelled to share.
Apologies and Gratitude
First and foremost, I apologize. I’m sorry we vowed ‘forever’ to each other without grasping the true meaning of that word. If blame exists for that promise, it belongs to the cosmos—how could we hold each other accountable for something we were too young and naive to understand? We were still evolving when we exchanged our vows, unaware that our paths would diverge.
Nevertheless, I want to express my gratitude. Thank you for the ring and for sharing your last name with me. Thank you for teaching me about resilience and patience. Most importantly, thank you for our wonderful children, who bear your likeness in both looks and laughter. They are the greatest gifts I have ever received.
I appreciate your courage to fight for me and your willingness to let me go when I needed it.
Unanswered Questions
While our Divorce Agreement delineates visitation schedules, parenting responsibilities, and financial obligations, many questions remain unaddressed. Each time I see you, there’s an unspoken tension in the air—questions I feel too awkward to voice.
Some of these questions lead us back to fond memories, like those first nights home with our daughter when we marveled at her tiny hands, perfectly formed by us. Do you ever hear our wedding song and skip it, or do you pause to reminisce about that beach weekend with my hair blowing in the wind? Did you erase it entirely, fearing it would reopen a chapter you thought was closed?
I also wonder about your current life. Are you in love? Does someone love you? Does she fulfill the desires you had, the ones I couldn’t meet? Has your new relationship caused you to question the love we shared, or even if you understood love at the time?
Navigating New Interactions
Then there are those delicate interactions we navigate now. When is it appropriate to hug you? At our children’s milestones, or during a family gathering? Should I reach out when I see you at a funeral, or simply acknowledge you from a distance?
Everything has transformed, and I accept that. We no longer communicate like we used to; our exchanges are reduced to brief texts, a stark contrast to the handwritten notes we once cherished.
Letting Go of Anger
Lastly, I want you to know that I’m no longer harboring anger. Through therapy and self-reflection, I’ve learned to let go of past grievances. Yet, I sense your lingering resentment, evident in the way you tense up when we cross paths.
So, I must ask—do you think you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me soon?
Warm Regards,
Your Ex-Wife