For a mother, a fellow mom often serves as the best companion, providing understanding and camaraderie born from shared experiences. They can empathize with the challenges of parenting, lend a comforting hug, or simply share a laugh. They even get that when you interrupt, it’s just your excitement at engaging with another adult who gets it.
Yet, the non-mom friends in my life hold a special place too. They remind me that I’m more than just a caregiver and help me appreciate the joy of having little hands reaching for me every moment. Their perspective encourages me to reflect on my identity outside of motherhood.
However, it’s essential to recognize that if you don’t have children, truly grasping the nuances of parenting can be elusive. Non-parents may try to relate, but without firsthand experience, the reality of motherhood remains somewhat abstract. For instance:
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I say: “I’m feeling exhausted today.”
They hear: “I could use a short nap.”
I mean: “I need a two-week getaway at a hotel with just HBO and a mountain of cookies for company.” -
I say: “My baby finally slept through the night!”
They hear: “My baby managed to sleep for 9 hours straight.”
I mean: “My baby slept for three hours, woke up for half an hour to nurse, then dozed off for another four hours. Truly a miracle!” -
I say: “Can I offer you a snack?”
They hear: “Should I quickly prepare something for us?”
I mean: “Would you prefer a graham cracker or maybe some fruit snacks?” -
I say: “I can’t wait for my kids to start school.”
They hear: “I’m eager for my kids to learn and grow.”
I mean: “I’m so looking forward to a few hours of peace five days a week.” -
I say: “My children are becoming picky eaters.”
They hear: “My kids aren’t always fond of veggies.”
I mean: “They’ve somehow survived on only bread and milk for the past three days.” -
I say: “Apologies for the mess in my house.”
They hear: “I’m simply too busy being an amazing mom to clean.”
I mean: “Can you get me a maid for my birthday?” -
I say: “Just a heads up, I haven’t showered today.”
They hear: “I plan to shower after the kids sleep.”
I mean: “I’ve only managed to wash the poop off my hands since last Friday.”
It’s not their fault; they just haven’t walked in my shoes. Perhaps I should let them babysit for a night — or maybe even two weeks. I think I saw a Groupon for a short hotel stay…
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In summary, while having mom friends is invaluable, the support from non-parent friends also plays a critical role in reminding us of our multifaceted identities. They may not fully understand the challenges of parenthood, but their companionship fosters our growth as individuals.