When I encounter the phrase “given up” in the context of adoption, it strikes a chord within me. My son, Noah, was not “given up.” I find this terminology deeply unsettling. You might give up coffee, a favorite dessert, or an old vehicle, but you do not give up a child.
Many people, including those I barely know, have inquired, “Why did his biological parents give Noah up?” My response is always the same: “They didn’t.” The truth is, there are countless reasons why some individuals cannot raise their children. Some circumstances are heartbreaking, others may seem selfish, but many stem from a place of selflessness. Biological parents often face the unimaginable choice to create a plan for their child’s future, acting in what they believe to be the best interest of their child, despite the immense pain that decision entails. The courage it takes to make such a choice is remarkable. It’s important to understand that most biological parents do not simply “give their children up,” especially in the realm of international adoption, which can be fraught with complications and, at times, corruption.
While I know it’s impossible to shield my son from every potentially hurtful situation, I strive to do my best. I may not always be able to protect him from feelings of confusion or anger, but I can work diligently to prevent him from ever questioning, “Why was I given up?” Because I am certain he wasn’t.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, the language surrounding adoption should reflect the complexity and depth of the decisions made by biological parents. It’s crucial to honor their choices and recognize the strength it takes to place a child’s well-being above all else.