When I found out I was expecting, I assumed my growing belly would lead to a decrease in my libido. Oh, how wrong I was! The hormonal surge kept my husband and me engaged in a healthy sex life right up until about 36 weeks. That’s when things took a turn. Just as everyone started insisting that intimacy might help induce labor, I found myself grappling with the physical challenges of my size. With no visibility below my belly, comfortable positions were hard to come by. All I wanted was to get some uninterrupted sleep, free from the discomfort in my hips and frequent bathroom trips. I figured that post-birth, with recovery and sleepless nights ahead, sex would fall off my radar entirely.
However, after our little one arrived, I was taken aback by a sudden surge of desire. Despite the exhaustion and the maxi-pad situation that resembled a sofa cushion, my husband and I found ourselves irresistibly drawn to each other. Even during those late-night feedings, we would sneak back to bed, reliving the passionate moments of our youth—though, admittedly, we never shared those kinds of moments back in high school.
Eagerly anticipating my six-week postpartum checkup, I felt like a kid counting down to Christmas. I was determined to wait for my doctor’s approval before resuming any intimate activities. When the day finally arrived, I was relieved to hear everything was healing well, including my C-section incision. My doctor inquired about my birth control preferences, and I shared my previous pill. Just like that, she had a prescription ready to go.
Then the conversation turned serious. “Just a heads up—sex after having a baby might not be what you expect,” she cautioned. “It may not feel great, and you might experience discomfort.” I dismissed her words, thinking, “She has no idea how much I want this!”
But when the moment finally came, I was in for an unpleasant surprise. It hurt—like, really hurt. A couple of nights later, we decided to try again, hoping for a better experience. My husband suggested a different position, but it still felt like I was moving at a sloth’s pace. It was far from the fun, easy connection we used to share. Instead, I found myself frustrated and confused. Having had a C-section, I didn’t anticipate any changes that would make things difficult. I expected my body to feel different, but instead, it felt like something had tightened up.
Seeking advice from friends, they suggested common solutions: lube, different positions, and even a glass of wine. While I was eager to try anything, nothing seemed to alleviate the discomfort. And let’s not forget the awkwardness of trying to keep the noise down with a sleeping baby just a room away.
Just when I thought I might give up, we attempted intimacy again, and to my astonishment, it didn’t hurt. Relief flooded over me, and unexpectedly, I began to cry mid-way through. This alarmed my husband, who paused, thinking I was in pain. After reassuring him that everything was fine, we continued, and thankfully, it felt right. Yes, the tears may have dampened the moment a bit, but I was simply overjoyed to be free from pain. Each encounter thereafter improved significantly, bringing back the enjoyment we once knew.
So, if you find yourself navigating the complexities of intimacy post-baby, be patient. It may take time, but rest assured, it does get better. Just remember to keep it quiet so you don’t wake the baby!
For those interested in further exploration of parenthood, check out our post on the CryoBaby at Home Insemination Kit or learn more about the importance of egg donation at Intracervical Insemination. For additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit IVF Babble.
In summary, intimacy after having a baby can be puzzling, filled with ups and downs. But with time and communication, it can transform back into a fulfilling experience.