The internet can be likened to the Wild West—vast, unpredictable, exhilarating, yet fraught with risks. Simply sending our tweens or teens out into this uncharted territory with vague advice like “be careful” or “make smart choices” is insufficient. They require a framework built on our family’s values and principles.
In light of this reality, I recently drafted a social media agreement for my 13-year-old son, Jacob. On his birthday, we allowed him to join Instagram, but shortly after, he posted a photo that raised concerns among family members. This prompted the realization that a formal agreement could clarify expectations and reduce disagreements regarding the rules. An agreement signed by both parents and the child leaves little room for misunderstanding.
Here is the newly crafted agreement:
- I commit to always keeping my social media accounts set to “private.”
- I will refrain from sharing photos that focus on body parts. I will only post images that feature faces, understanding that this is to protect my dignity and well-being as a young person.
- I will not post any sexualized content. This includes images of kissing, inappropriate gestures, or anything that could be interpreted as sexual. While it’s okay to be playful, I recognize that the internet is not a safe space for such behaviors.
- I agree to treat myself and others with respect in my words and images, avoiding any form of mockery, gossip, or secret-sharing on social media.
- For safety reasons, I will not disclose my exact location in my posts. For instance, I won’t share that I’m at the park with friends and then heading home afterward.
- I will promptly inform a trusted adult if I receive any threatening or inappropriate messages or images online.
- I will not seek out pornography. I understand that while sex is a natural aspect of adult life, pornography is not suitable for young people. I recognize that once I view such material, it can have lasting effects on my mental and emotional health. If I come across it accidentally, I will stop immediately. I understand that many individuals in these videos may be in distressing situations. My curiosity is natural, but until I’m an adult, I agree to avoid this content.
- I acknowledge that anything I post online is permanent, even if I delete it later. I understand that skilled individuals can recover deleted content, and that future employers or acquaintances may find everything I’ve posted.
- During family time, I will put away all devices, including my phone. This rule applies to adults, too.
- I accept that I may have “internet blackouts,” where I take time away from screens if I show signs of needing a break, such as irritability or disinterest in family activities.
- I will stop using all technology, including my phone, by 8:00 PM unless I have requested and received permission for an exception.
- If I violate any of these agreements, I understand that my access to social media may be suspended for a duration determined by my parents. I know my family cares deeply for me and establishes these guidelines out of that love.
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In summary, as parents, establishing clear social media guidelines is essential for helping our children navigate the complexities of online interactions. This contract not only sets boundaries but also encourages open communication about the challenges of growing up in a digital world.