The holiday season can often feel overwhelming, filled with obligatory gatherings and awkward encounters with relatives you only see once a year. You may find yourself dreading the rituals, the forced cheer, and the faux-gratitude for gifts you didn’t ask for. While the thought of avoiding these traditions might seem appealing, I urge you to reconsider the reality of spending Christmas alone.
I once believed I was immune to the deep-seated sadness that often accompanies solitude during this festive time. I’m not even Christian, and I genuinely enjoy my own company. Sometimes, I’ve welcomed the cancellation of plans with a sense of relief, as if I had received wonderful news. However, the holidays carry a strong social message about togetherness—a message echoed through carols, mistletoe, and bustling family gatherings. Choosing to spend Christmas alone can feel like a breach of a social contract that emphasizes connection during this time of year.
The Reality of Solitude
With the scheduling demands of my siblings’ families, my immediate family often celebrates Christmas weeks before December 25th. That particular year, my family had gathered early in the month, and I was initially excited about the prospect of a solo Christmas. I turned down invitations for “orphan dinners” and planned to transform my time off into a luxurious retreat. My plan was simple: sleep in, indulge in snacks like Mallomars for dinner, and binge-watch my favorite shows. I was convinced this would be a blissful escape.
On Christmas morning, while families gathered to exchange gifts, I opted for a jog in the frigid park, which was an eerie scene of emptiness. I told myself how fortunate I was to enjoy this solitude while the rest of the world was indoors celebrating. But as the day unfolded, I began to feel like a pariah, grappling with anxiety about how I would fill the hours ahead. With shops closed and an empty city around me, I knew I wouldn’t be receiving calls or emails—everyone else was immersed in holiday festivities.
Upon returning home, I took a leisurely shower, but anxiety crept in as I faced the choice of getting dressed for a non-existent outing or slipping back into pajamas, which felt disheartening. Trying to lift my spirits, I turned on the radio, only to find the same endless stream of holiday music that seemed to mock my solitude.
As the sun set around 2 p.m., I was left with a gloomy twilight that mirrored my despair. The isolation was palpable; it was like being sick at home as a child, watching the world outside while you lay on the couch, the light filtering through dust motes. I realized that spending Christmas alone—especially when the day is so intrinsically about connection—was a grave miscalculation.
The Turning Point
By 9 p.m., I could no longer bear the solitude and called my friend Sarah. “Get ready,” she said. “We’re going out.” Over a meal of Chinese food, I recounted the day’s struggles—how the loneliness felt almost dangerous, the biting cold, and the eerie quiet of a city devoid of its holiday spirit.
“You can’t just opt out of Christmas,” Sarah stated matter-of-factly.
“But theoretically, shouldn’t I be able to enjoy a day alone without feeling like it’s endless?” I countered.
“In theory, yes,” she replied, “but in practice… it’s a different story.”
In truth, while some may find joy in a solitary holiday, for many of us who equate Christmas with communal celebration, spending the day alone can turn out to be a regrettable choice.
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Summary
Spending Christmas alone may seem appealing at first, but it can lead to unexpected feelings of loneliness and isolation. The societal emphasis on togetherness during the holidays makes solitude particularly challenging. While some individuals might thrive in solitude, for many, the day’s inherent focus on family and connection can make being alone feel like a mistake.