Let’s be real: a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes at your local coffee shop may not compare to a natural disaster, but it can still ruin your Wednesday morning. These so-called “First World Problems”—like when your friend texts you about a sold-out sale or when you lose Wi-Fi just before a concert—typically warrant nothing more than a couple of frowny emojis. However, as someone who grew up in the fabulous ’80s, I find myself facing unique frustrations that others simply don’t understand. Here are 18 modern dilemmas that are all too familiar to those of us raised in that iconic decade:
- Channel surfing late at night and stumbling upon the unedited version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, only to realize you have to wake up at 5 a.m. for work.
- Discovering that no matter how many times you ask, your partner will never recreate the iconic lift scene from Dirty Dancing.
- Telling your kids to “tape” a show for you to watch later, only to be met with blank stares because they have no idea what “tape” even means.
- Uncovering a disposable camera from your childhood, only to realize you’ll never see those pictures since no one develops film anymore.
- Gazing at the redesigned versions of your favorite childhood toys in stores and questioning why someone thought they needed to be “improved.”
- Feeling annoyed when you hear Nirvana on an ’80s music station, fully knowing it belongs on a ’90s playlist.
- When someone admits they’ve never seen Michael Jackson’s iconic “Thriller” video, your heart sinks a little, and you fight the urge to punch them.
- Imagining your fantasy life with your childhood crush, only to realize it’s now a far cry from the glamorous tabloid images you see while shopping in sweats.
- Lawn darts are now banned, depriving your kids of the exhilarating danger you once enjoyed.
- The local roller rink has become a rundown venue, robbing you of the chance to relive your glory days of backwards skating.
- You can’t find Electric Youth perfume anywhere… and younger folks don’t even know who Debbie Gibson is.
- Recording songs off the radio to make mixtapes is a thing of the past now that you can’t do it off of XM Radio.
- Realizing you could fit so much more in your car for family vacations if your kids could just sit in the way back like you did.
- When your Caboodles finally breaks, you lament that you can’t find a suitable replacement; the new versions are just flimsy.
- Hearing “Footloose” in the grocery store compels you to dance like Kevin Bacon before you can continue shopping.
- You find yourself navigating more awkward conversations with your kids than your parents ever did, thanks to the absence of afterschool specials. Thanks a lot, ABC.
- While browsing the wine aisle, you can’t help but wish the labels were scratch-and-sniff stickers—how handy would that be?
- Waking up in the middle of the night craving Pizzarias Chips or Jell-O Pudding Pops is truly frustrating.
It’s like you want to visit a place where everyone knows your name, but no one around you even knows what Cheers is. To cope with these distinctly ’80s child problems, treat yourself to reruns of classic shows on TV Land and Netflix. Embrace the joyful moments from your past, but don’t forget the lessons learned. While some ’80s trends may be making a comeback, let your past experiences and old photos guide you in avoiding certain fashion choices for a second time. Those teenagers flaunting neon jumpsuits on social media have no clue, but we do. For a deeper dive into family planning, check out our article on the best home insemination kits.
Summary:
This article humorously explores the unique frustrations faced by those raised in the ’80s, capturing the essence of nostalgia while highlighting the absurdity of modern life. From childhood memories to the challenges of parenting today, it resonates with anyone who grew up during that vibrant decade. For more insights on self-insemination, visit Make A Mom and for skincare tips during pregnancy, check out Intracervical Insemination. For a reliable resource on assisted reproductive technology, refer to the CDC.