As the legendary Back to the Future celebrates its 30th anniversary, I find myself yearning for the days of yore—a time when life was simpler, and fun was at the forefront. Here are twenty reasons why a trip back to the ’80s would be nothing short of magical.
- The current era is sorely lacking in vibrant sticker collections, a staple of my childhood.
- It’s the perfect opportunity to flaunt my new Benetton and Esprit outfits to the popular crowd.
- I need to alter history to ensure that Whitney Houston never crosses paths with Bobby Brown.
- I could warn Wil Wheaton and his friends about the leeches lurking in that infamous pond—thanks a lot, Stephen King.
- I long for the taste of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pudding Pies, the iconic green frog ice cream bars, and those delightful cylindrical granola bars filled with nougat. (Pudding Pops would also make the list, but both they and The Cosby Show have taken a hit in reputation.)
- I miss the Tom Cruise of the ’80s—before he became overwhelmed by fame and Scientology.
- Chuck E. Cheese used to dress to impress, sporting a vest, bow tie, and derby. Now he looks like he’s off for a jog. What happened to the Pizza Time Theatre experience? And losing the ball pit? Total letdown, Chuck E.
- Hungry Hungry Hippos came with actual marbles, not the plastic ones we have today.
- McDonald’s served deep-fried apple and cherry pies that were utterly irresistible.
- I could drop the phrase “No gnus is good gnus!” and impress the kids under ten.
- Handing out Hubba Bubba would be an instant ticket to friendship with the tweens.
- My Eddie Murphy-inspired Buckwheat impression would have everyone in the bar cracking up.
- The scent of my hairspray would be delightful, like ripe grapes.
- I could argue that while VHS is cheaper, Betamax is the superior format!
- During Dallas, I could blow minds by proclaiming, “Bobby isn’t dead; Pam is just dreaming this!”
- The thrill of discovering a new issue of Teen magazine in my mailbox and devouring it in one sitting would be a joy to relive.
- I would advise my younger self that my Strawberry Shortcake dolls and My Little Ponies would lose their value if I keep giving them questionable haircuts (poor Sprinkles ended up with a stubby tail).
- I’d still possess that one cherished toy—a rare Ace Frehley doll—worth a fortune if my mom hadn’t sold it at a yard sale. For my partner, it’s the Millennium Falcon. What’s your cherished item?
- I’d still have my pristine lavender jellies, unscathed before my grandmother decided to modify them for my sore toe.
- I’d have my grandmother watching me shine on Star Search, just like I remember.
Clearly, there’s an abundance of things I’d want to accomplish in the ’80s, and I’m sure you have your own list. Now, where’s that elusive flux capacitor?
For those interested in exploring avenues of home insemination, check out this invaluable resource for pregnancy and home insemination guidance. If you’re looking for an at-home insemination kit, consider the BabyMaker as a helpful option. And if you’re curious about your baby’s due date, this site is a great authority on the topic: Your Baby’s Due Date.
In summary, the allure of the ’80s holds a treasure trove of nostalgia, from fashion to snacks, and even pop culture phenomena that shaped our youth. A time travel escape would not only be an adventure but a chance to relive fond memories.