Looking back, I’ve often found that movies I cherished as a child were not as innocent as I once believed. They were filled with frightening scenes or unexpected adult themes. While I don’t consider myself overly conservative, I do think there are better options for my kids than watching a film about a man who enjoys hunting camp counselors when they could be enjoying something wholesome like Disney’s Frozen.
In July 1984, the PG-13 rating was introduced, largely due to concerns over movies like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Gremlins being too intense for a PG rating. This context explains why many of us were glued to films like Airplane! and Poltergeist while still learning our multiplication tables. Here are eight films that our parents deemed acceptable for us to watch during the ’80s—a time when raising kids wasn’t a competition for perfection.
-
Big
I thought it would be a delightful family movie night when I decided to introduce my kids, ages 7 and 10, to Big, a nostalgic favorite of mine. I remembered the charming scenes of Tom Hanks playing with a giant piano in FAO Schwarz. But just as I was enjoying popcorn, the film dropped an F-bomb that echoed through the room. We all squirmed during the uncomfortable scenes involving adult themes and innuendos. It turns out that Big is filled with suggestive content and drinking. After that viewing, I felt like I needed a drink myself! -
Jaws
If you want your child to be terrified of the ocean, just show them Jaws, the classic about a killer shark. I wisely chose to skip this PG-rated film with my kids, as I’d rather enjoy beach days without their fear of the water. Many of us from the ’80s still quote Roy Scheider’s line about needing a bigger boat. Yet, the infamous monologue from Quint about the USS Indianapolis is chilling enough to haunt anyone. -
Poltergeist
Imagine cramming all the things that terrify children into a single VHS tape and giving it a PG rating—that’s Poltergeist. This movie features scenes that could leave a lasting impression on young viewers, like the possessed tree and the creepy clown doll. The adult characters engage in drug use, which is sneakily presented as they smoke joints and laugh about their pasts. I think I’ll keep this one far away from my kids. -
The Goonies
As a kid, I found The Goonies endlessly entertaining, especially when one character exclaimed, “HOLY SHIT!” Not to mention the villain’s chilling antics that left us both laughing and terrified. However, the film is packed with adult humor, including a memorable incident involving a ceramic statue. The constant mishaps throughout the movie, including a character’s deformity due to a childhood accident, make me wonder how my Generation Z kids would react to this peculiar adventure. -
Friday the 13th
This film was a staple at slumber parties during elementary school. Rated as a sadistic slasher film for ages 18+, Friday the 13th features camp counselors engaging in questionable activities before meeting horrific fates. It’s baffling how parents allowed us to watch what could have been rated X—especially considering the explicit content. -
Tom and Jerry
As a small child, I was amused by the relentless violence between Tom and Jerry. They used all sorts of weapons against each other and even indulged in smoking. When I tried to introduce my own children to this classic, they were less impressed by the cartoonish violence and preferred the friendly antics of shows like Yo Gabba Gabba! -
Annie
It took me a while to realize that Ms. Hannigan, the orphanage’s caretaker, was actually a drunk. Her slurred speech and misguided attempts to woo Daddy Warbucks are unsettling. The movie also features intense scenes, such as Annie fleeing from a criminal. I can only imagine that the updated version has toned down some of the darker elements. -
Ghostbusters
“Who you gonna call?” is a phrase every ’80s child knows. However, one of the film’s more memorable moments is when a Ghostbuster receives oral attention from a ghost. Classy, right? Another scene features a possessed woman making suggestive comments, leading to inevitable questions from curious kids. Released just before the PG-13 rating, Ghostbusters is a classic example of that era’s surprising content.
While I understand that kids will eventually be exposed to various life lessons through media, I prefer to keep the nightmares of Friday the 13th and Poltergeist at bay for now. For those looking for a more wholesome experience, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes, or explore tips on boosting fertility supplements at Make A Mom.
In summary, the ’80s brought us a plethora of films that, while entertaining, were often inappropriate for young viewers. It’s essential to consider the content of these classics and how they might affect today’s more sheltered children.